Канал: Sacred Cow Shipyards

The V-19 was a Torrent of bad decisions

The V-19 was a Torrent of bad decisions

We Don't Eat Our Classmates, by Ryan T. Higgins

We Don't Eat Our Classmates, by Ryan T. Higgins

We're gonna play something. Just don't know what yet.

We're gonna play something. Just don't know what yet.

I Have a Rendezvous With Death, by Alan Seeger

I Have a Rendezvous With Death, by Alan Seeger

I make no promises that this is actually happening, I just wanted to mess up your calendars

I make no promises that this is actually happening, I just wanted to mess up your calendars

No, not that kind of Handy, you absolute weirdos

No, not that kind of Handy, you absolute weirdos

S is for Salmon

S is for Salmon

And, as usual, we failed to plan ahead.

And, as usual, we failed to plan ahead.

Jack of Savannah, Master of None

Jack of Savannah, Master of None

The Second Coming, by William Butler Yeats

The Second Coming, by William Butler Yeats

What's this? What's this? The Dockmaster's planning ahead?

What's this? What's this? The Dockmaster's planning ahead?

I like big Galaxy Classes and I cannot lie, which is good, because they only come BIG

I like big Galaxy Classes and I cannot lie, which is good, because they only come BIG

The Death Star might not be the biggest ball, but it has the hardest... energy beam

The Death Star might not be the biggest ball, but it has the hardest... energy beam

Bruce's Big Storm

Bruce's Big Storm

At this point, it's just a tradition that I don't give you enough prior warning

At this point, it's just a tradition that I don't give you enough prior warning

My crew shuttle brings all the boys to the Babylon 5 yard

My crew shuttle brings all the boys to the Babylon 5 yard

It's going to be hard to out-troll your planet's supreme troll

It's going to be hard to out-troll your planet's supreme troll

FTL Multiverse just gets weirder and weirder

FTL Multiverse just gets weirder and weirder

A NOMAD with all the nukes. That sounds like something appropriate for The Creator, right?

A NOMAD with all the nukes. That sounds like something appropriate for The Creator, right?

Goodnight Moon

Goodnight Moon

I'll make y'all a bet

I'll make y'all a bet

We did warn you that this was happening this time

We did warn you that this was happening this time

There are twelve models of Cylons. Until there aren't.

There are twelve models of Cylons. Until there aren't.

Technical issues? We never have those. Anywho, here's The Three Little Aliens and the Big Bad Robot

Technical issues? We never have those. Anywho, here's The Three Little Aliens and the Big Bad Robot

If I keep this up it might almost constitute something of a schedule, mk3

If I keep this up it might almost constitute something of a schedule, mk3

If I keep this up it might almost constitute something of a schedule, mk2

If I keep this up it might almost constitute something of a schedule, mk2

If I keep this up it might almost constitute something of a schedule

If I keep this up it might almost constitute something of a schedule

What if Romulus and Remus were Aliens? Definitely didn't arrive on the Nostromo, though.

What if Romulus and Remus were Aliens? Definitely didn't arrive on the Nostromo, though.

Y'all did it, yet again

Y'all did it, yet again

We're really great at scheduling these ahead of time

We're really great at scheduling these ahead of time

The Autonomous Self-Supportive Heuristic Organic Life Emulator is back!

The Autonomous Self-Supportive Heuristic Organic Life Emulator is back!

Sometimes a pale horse is just a pale horse, especially if it appears at your Olympics

Sometimes a pale horse is just a pale horse, especially if it appears at your Olympics

Back into the Multiverse of FTL

Back into the Multiverse of FTL

Electronic Warfare has very little to do with the electric slide. But not nothing.

Electronic Warfare has very little to do with the electric slide. But not nothing.

Dragons Love Tacos 2, the Sequel, by Adam Rubin

Dragons Love Tacos 2, the Sequel, by Adam Rubin

Frankly, does it really matter what I call these livestreams?

Frankly, does it really matter what I call these livestreams?

Can you blame your "AI" for not knowing what a Skyranger is?

Can you blame your "AI" for not knowing what a Skyranger is?

When The Acolyte moves in, you know the strip mall is in trouble

When The Acolyte moves in, you know the strip mall is in trouble

Off we go, into a new blue yonder.

Off we go, into a new blue yonder.

Thankfully, some forms of communication require no universal translator

Thankfully, some forms of communication require no universal translator

If you inverse your archaeology does it become an arcology?

If you inverse your archaeology does it become an arcology?

What to do, what to do, whatever shall we do?

What to do, what to do, whatever shall we do?

This is the end, beautiful friend (at least for this game)

This is the end, beautiful friend (at least for this game)

If you need casualty power, biscuits are the answer

If you need casualty power, biscuits are the answer

Dragons Love Tacos, by Adam Rubin and illustrated by Daniel Salmieri

Dragons Love Tacos, by Adam Rubin and illustrated by Daniel Salmieri

We'll do it live

We'll do it live

IT'S HAPPENING (probably (we hope))

IT'S HAPPENING (probably (we hope))

Who shot JR U-Wing?

Who shot JR U-Wing?

A poem, by Dylan Thomas

A poem, by Dylan Thomas

The crew has a virus.

The crew has a virus.

When asked what gas their PPCs used, Mechwarriors said "Argo-n"

When asked what gas their PPCs used, Mechwarriors said "Argo-n"

Not telling you everything up front isn't a retcon, even if it's about the Ferengi

Not telling you everything up front isn't a retcon, even if it's about the Ferengi

Will he 'accidentally' space his crew this time? NO ONE KNOWS.

Will he 'accidentally' space his crew this time? NO ONE KNOWS.

Helldivers do it feet first

Helldivers do it feet first

If you're going to make Games, Workshop your ideas a little better

If you're going to make Games, Workshop your ideas a little better

I guarantee you won't Fallout of this APC

I guarantee you won't Fallout of this APC

On the Corner of Chocolate Avenue, by Tziporah Cohen

On the Corner of Chocolate Avenue, by Tziporah Cohen

Hey, we survived last time, for the second time

Hey, we survived last time, for the second time

This thing would make even Godzilla HEAV

This thing would make even Godzilla HEAV

You have to appreciate when a Frozen Empire still brings new toys to the Ghostbusters party

You have to appreciate when a Frozen Empire still brings new toys to the Ghostbusters party

Hey, we survived last time

Hey, we survived last time

The Automatic Bus Transfer switch episode that everyone asked for

The Automatic Bus Transfer switch episode that everyone asked for

Giraffe Problems, by Jory John

Giraffe Problems, by Jory John

We're going to give this another shot.

We're going to give this another shot.

Well, let's see if it works this time

Well, let's see if it works this time

The Dune Thopter, or how to make your flight crew go deaf in less time than it took to read this

The Dune Thopter, or how to make your flight crew go deaf in less time than it took to read this

The Gods of Copybook Headings, by Rudyard Kipling

The Gods of Copybook Headings, by Rudyard Kipling

We did warn you that this was happening this time

We did warn you that this was happening this time

Sacred Cow Shipyards reminds itself how to play FTL

Sacred Cow Shipyards reminds itself how to play FTL

For All Mankind successfully broke suspension of disbelief with the N-1 rocket ever working

For All Mankind successfully broke suspension of disbelief with the N-1 rocket ever working

Y'all did amazing with Toys for Tots

Y'all did amazing with Toys for Tots

What is a Cruise Missile Trooper and why did anyone think it would work?

What is a Cruise Missile Trooper and why did anyone think it would work?

No surprise that #Netflix 's #CowboyBebop failed when they couldn't even get simple things right

No surprise that #Netflix 's #CowboyBebop failed when they couldn't even get simple things right

It's so EEZ to understand your territorial waters, even I could do it

It's so EEZ to understand your territorial waters, even I could do it

Bruce Swap, by Ryan T. Higgins

Bruce Swap, by Ryan T. Higgins

In space, no one can hear your big bada boom

In space, no one can hear your big bada boom

A story about a slow night at an Air Force base

A story about a slow night at an Air Force base

Yes, I am feeling uncharacteristically charitable. Just say "thank you".

Yes, I am feeling uncharacteristically charitable. Just say "thank you".

We have no (ship) class here, so why are we comparing them?

We have no (ship) class here, so why are we comparing them?

Santa Bruce, as written by Ryan T. Higgins

Santa Bruce, as written by Ryan T. Higgins

Sacred Cow Shipyards would like to introduce you to... ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʟɢᴇ

Sacred Cow Shipyards would like to introduce you to... ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʟɢᴇ

Surface Warfare Officers, and a few hypotheses about collisions

Surface Warfare Officers, and a few hypotheses about collisions

I give you humies an understandable amount of grief, but you pulled through on Toys for Tots

I give you humies an understandable amount of grief, but you pulled through on Toys for Tots

Christmas is the time of year for Toys for Tots. So why not help them?

Christmas is the time of year for Toys for Tots. So why not help them?

But, seriously, how DO #StarWars helmets stay on?

But, seriously, how DO #StarWars helmets stay on?

With a dude named Ender playing a Game, how did you think it was going to go?

With a dude named Ender playing a Game, how did you think it was going to go?

I am Dolly Parton, by Brad Meltzer

I am Dolly Parton, by Brad Meltzer

Retreat? Hell! We just got to Los Angeles. They got crayons here, right?

Retreat? Hell! We just got to Los Angeles. They got crayons here, right?

Bruce's Big Storm, as written by Ryan T. Higgins

Bruce's Big Storm, as written by Ryan T. Higgins

Sub Launched Ballistic Missiles, or how salt water can be exploited to hate EVERYTHING

Sub Launched Ballistic Missiles, or how salt water can be exploited to hate EVERYTHING

Bruce's Big Move, as written by Ryan T. Higgins

Bruce's Big Move, as written by Ryan T. Higgins

*Jedi hand wave* This is not the Enterprise you were thinking of

Jedi hand wave This is not the Enterprise you were thinking of

Admittedly, I am no Lyle, but that's probably for the best

Admittedly, I am no Lyle, but that's probably for the best

I feel like "Gozanti Cruiser" should be said with a specific accent

I feel like "Gozanti Cruiser" should be said with a specific accent

Cat Problems, as written by Jory John and illustrated by Lane Smit

Cat Problems, as written by Jory John and illustrated by Lane Smit

It's a missile! It's a torpedo! In space, it probably doesn't matter

It's a missile! It's a torpedo! In space, it probably doesn't matter

Thank you for supporting the #USSTexas!

Thank you for supporting the #USSTexas!

We got SCS patches. Go slap them on something. Y'know, gentle-like.

We got SCS patches. Go slap them on something. Y'know, gentle-like.

It may be Non-Judicial but it is still very much Punishment

It may be Non-Judicial but it is still very much Punishment

Hotel Bruce, as written by Ryan T. Higgins

Hotel Bruce, as written by Ryan T. Higgins

If Q was actually involved in Q-Ships, they might have worked better

If Q was actually involved in Q-Ships, they might have worked better

START THE CLOCK

START THE CLOCK

I really don't understand people fighting over the T-14

I really don't understand people fighting over the T-14

What even is a "Millennium Falcon"? Is that a specific species or something?

What even is a "Millennium Falcon"? Is that a specific species or something?

The Couch Potato, by Jory John, illustrated by Pete Oswald

The Couch Potato, by Jory John, illustrated by Pete Oswald

I can't speak to how hungry this Caterpillar is, but I guess that comes from it being a Star Citizen

I can't speak to how hungry this Caterpillar is, but I guess that comes from it being a Star Citizen

Mother Bruce, by Ryan T. Higgins

Mother Bruce, by Ryan T. Higgins

The real problem with the Phalanx is there aren't enough on a ship to make a proper testudo

The real problem with the Phalanx is there aren't enough on a ship to make a proper testudo

I mean, there's whole worlds out there

I mean, there's whole worlds out there

You could say it was a Titan-ic disaster

You could say it was a Titan-ic disaster

Imagine trying to explain a "smart phone" to someone from even the Renaissance

Imagine trying to explain a "smart phone" to someone from even the Renaissance

Honestly, Star Wars' Juggernaut was named... pretty much perfectly

Honestly, Star Wars' Juggernaut was named... pretty much perfectly

Your Humble Dockmaster reads Penguin Problems

Your Humble Dockmaster reads Penguin Problems

Everything has a purpose. Some things just have more than one.

Everything has a purpose. Some things just have more than one.

Y'know what, some of you could stand to learn from some of these books

Y'know what, some of you could stand to learn from some of these books

Klingon ship design really puts its neck out there

Klingon ship design really puts its neck out there

"That's an order" isn't a thing

"That's an order" isn't a thing

The tracks on the Land's Raider go 'round and 'round

The tracks on the Land's Raider go 'round and 'round

129 souls were lost with the USS Thresher

129 souls were lost with the USS Thresher

"pew pew" goes the bang-bang-boomstick... if you want it to

"pew pew" goes the bang-bang-boomstick... if you want it to

Disney hates Mandalorians. No, I'm not joking. #short #shorts

Disney hates Mandalorians. No, I'm not joking. #short #shorts

There are (mostly) no good guys in Star Wars. That's it. That's the headline.

There are (mostly) no good guys in Star Wars. That's it. That's the headline.

With apologies to Semisonic. #short #shorts #shortsvideo #shortvideo

With apologies to Semisonic. #short #shorts #shortsvideo #shortvideo

Seems like the California Class should have offered paid lodging on a short-term basis

Seems like the California Class should have offered paid lodging on a short-term basis

It's like Hollywood can't afford light bulbs any more

It's like Hollywood can't afford light bulbs any more

A place called "X-Ray 10" was bound to have some interesting goings-on

A place called "X-Ray 10" was bound to have some interesting goings-on

File this under "be careful what you ask for". #shorts #short

File this under "be careful what you ask for". #shorts #short

Y'know what? The title for this episode about Star Wars docks could have been so much worse.

Y'know what? The title for this episode about Star Wars docks could have been so much worse.

Who in the hell is Delian and why is he in a Barney doll? #short #shorts #shortvideo #shortsvideo

Who in the hell is Delian and why is he in a Barney doll? #short #shorts #shortvideo #shortsvideo

Even in death we still fear SoBs who bolt people to combat robots

Even in death we still fear SoBs who bolt people to combat robots

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is TEXAS. No, I'm not kidding. #short #shorts

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is TEXAS. No, I'm not kidding. #short #shorts

You don't want me to open up my can of Yamatos. They're extra Space Battleship-y.

You don't want me to open up my can of Yamatos. They're extra Space Battleship-y.

There once was a Gorn from Arrakis... #short #shorts

There once was a Gorn from Arrakis... #short #shorts

Tourniquets save lives. So, y'know, don't leak out, especially not all over the Shipyards

Tourniquets save lives. So, y'know, don't leak out, especially not all over the Shipyards

If a thread has a right hand, you should probably shake it #short #shorts

If a thread has a right hand, you should probably shake it #short #shorts

You humies gift each other herbal teas for this holiday, why not an U̶r̶b̶a̶n̶m̶e̶c̶h̶ Herbalmech?

You humies gift each other herbal teas for this holiday, why not an U̶r̶b̶a̶n̶m̶e̶c̶h̶ Herbalmech?

How the Grinch Stole Christmas, take two

How the Grinch Stole Christmas, take two

Given the gamma rads the Venture Star's drives produce, the Na'Vi problem would have been... solved

Given the gamma rads the Venture Star's drives produce, the Na'Vi problem would have been... solved

The Litany Against Spheres #short #shorts #shortvideo #shortsvideo

The Litany Against Spheres #short #shorts #shortvideo #shortsvideo

Stargate Atlantis even failed at "two is one and one is none"

Stargate Atlantis even failed at "two is one and one is none"

Y'all gotta be more careful about what you say 'round these parts #short #shorts

Y'all gotta be more careful about what you say 'round these parts #short #shorts

Lancer? I hardly know her!

Lancer? I hardly know her!

The Litany Against Fear #short #shorts #shortvideo #shortsvideo

The Litany Against Fear #short #shorts #shortvideo #shortsvideo

I should get an award for a total lack of questionable idioms in an episode about Aft Steering

I should get an award for a total lack of questionable idioms in an episode about Aft Steering

Franny's Fix-It Shop is a Fuc... er... Fiddling Fraud #short #shorts #shortvideo #shortsvideo

Franny's Fix-It Shop is a Fuc... er... Fiddling Fraud #short #shorts #shortvideo #shortsvideo

Buy four Babylon Stations and the fifth one is Vree!

Buy four Babylon Stations and the fifth one is Vree!

My only real complaint is that the outcome is the opposite of cubification #short #shorts

My only real complaint is that the outcome is the opposite of cubification #short #shorts

We're gonna Preox your Morlana with this TacPod. Wait. That sounds Not-Safe-For-Andor.

We're gonna Preox your Morlana with this TacPod. Wait. That sounds Not-Safe-For-Andor.

You (totally failed to) sunk my (massively-over-damage-control-locker'd) battleship!

You (totally failed to) sunk my (massively-over-damage-control-locker'd) battleship!

Merchy #shorts? Shorty merch? Something something #short merch? I dunno. WE HAVE MERCH.

Merchy #shorts? Shorty merch? Something something #short merch? I dunno. WE HAVE MERCH.

We're all members of the SCS team, sung - #short -wise, to the tune of Yellow Submarine

We're all members of the SCS team, sung - #short -wise, to the tune of Yellow Submarine

You say "Prime Directive". I say, "Pathetic excuse for being a horrible sophont."

You say "Prime Directive". I say, "Pathetic excuse for being a horrible sophont."

Apparently someone else got ahold of the #short generation system

Apparently someone else got ahold of the #short generation system

D-d-d-d-d-d-down by the bay... where the Romulans grow...

D-d-d-d-d-d-down by the bay... where the Romulans grow...

Experimenting with these #shorts things you humies seem to adore

Experimenting with these #shorts things you humies seem to adore

You get a flooding, and you get a flooding, and YOU BACK THERE GET A FLOODING!

You get a flooding, and you get a flooding, and YOU BACK THERE GET A FLOODING!

You're seriously going to whine about an AK-47 showing up in Star Wars Andor? REALLY?

You're seriously going to whine about an AK-47 showing up in Star Wars Andor? REALLY?

This is not the special episode you were looking for

This is not the special episode you were looking for

The Three Laws of Screwing Robots Over

The Three Laws of Screwing Robots Over

Y'know, your planet would seem to indicate that Raptors are something to be feared.

Y'know, your planet would seem to indicate that Raptors are something to be feared.

You have to admit, "Earth Space Defense Force" is not only a stupid name, it's remarkably unclear

You have to admit, "Earth Space Defense Force" is not only a stupid name, it's remarkably unclear

'Cause it's X-30that and X-30this and X-30over-there and would you just stop already?

'Cause it's X-30that and X-30this and X-30over-there and would you just stop already?

Why are you paying for the debasing of heroes?

Why are you paying for the debasing of heroes?

Reproduction of Transmission Received at Listening Outpost WY-XX121

Reproduction of Transmission Received at Listening Outpost WY-XX121

If I told you what this episode was about, that'd be cheating.

If I told you what this episode was about, that'd be cheating.

Please excuse me while I sink the hell out of Battleship

Please excuse me while I sink the hell out of Battleship

Unlike "sanguine", Serenity doesn't have awkward secondary definitions

Unlike "sanguine", Serenity doesn't have awkward secondary definitions

Sometimes compartmentalization is a good thing. But only sometimes.

Sometimes compartmentalization is a good thing. But only sometimes.

Yo dawg, that fire ain't your type. Which is true of almost any fire, so... yeah, sorry.

Yo dawg, that fire ain't your type. Which is true of almost any fire, so... yeah, sorry.

It was not an Ace at being Felicitous

It was not an Ace at being Felicitous

Oh it's Tommy this, and Tommy that, and Tommy, where's the blessed forklift?

Oh it's Tommy this, and Tommy that, and Tommy, where's the blessed forklift?

In accordance w/Disney's rebranding, I go the whole episode without calling this atrocity "Slave I"

In accordance w/Disney's rebranding, I go the whole episode without calling this atrocity "Slave I"

Did you really think I'd be talking about the dwarf-tossing Strider on this channel?

Did you really think I'd be talking about the dwarf-tossing Strider on this channel?

"Get to the hellicarrier!" doesn't have quite the same ring

"Get to the hellicarrier!" doesn't have quite the same ring

The Ferengi are almost unquestionably jealous of the Lucrehulks

The Ferengi are almost unquestionably jealous of the Lucrehulks

Your City Destroyer is guaranteed, or the next city you destroy is free

Your City Destroyer is guaranteed, or the next city you destroy is free

Love Compartment Number 9-420-7-L

Love Compartment Number 9-420-7-L

Maybe this "Santa Claus" entity is one of those super-programs in the Matrix?

Maybe this "Santa Claus" entity is one of those super-programs in the Matrix?

Wasn't Arquitens one of the Three Musketeers or something?

Wasn't Arquitens one of the Three Musketeers or something?

I like Long Toms and I cannot lie? Long Toms make the world go 'round? Hm.

I like Long Toms and I cannot lie? Long Toms make the world go 'round? Hm.

Drop Pods, or how to throw yourself at the ground and hit. Really hard.

Drop Pods, or how to throw yourself at the ground and hit. Really hard.

Tyrone welcomes you to the Sacred Cow Shipyards

Tyrone welcomes you to the Sacred Cow Shipyards

How to cheat at depth perception and toasters. Or something. I dunno. Your Naval Academy is weird.

How to cheat at depth perception and toasters. Or something. I dunno. Your Naval Academy is weird.

The truth is most "science fiction" movies should have the audience as Passengers in the universe

The truth is most "science fiction" movies should have the audience as Passengers in the universe

No, those wings in Star Wars are not radiators, and even if they were, they're horrible at their job

No, those wings in Star Wars are not radiators, and even if they were, they're horrible at their job

Veterans are the same across the universe

Veterans are the same across the universe

I suppose the Union of the two ball-type craft we've talked about would require a joystick

I suppose the Union of the two ball-type craft we've talked about would require a joystick

I am astonished that there wasn't a model w/a pair RB-79 Balls stuck together w/a megacannon on top

I am astonished that there wasn't a model w/a pair RB-79 Balls stuck together w/a megacannon on top

It helps that they gave the Nova-class Dreadnoughts such appropriate names

It helps that they gave the Nova-class Dreadnoughts such appropriate names

With a name like Blue Origin and a ship shaped like that, the jokes practically write themselves

With a name like Blue Origin and a ship shaped like that, the jokes practically write themselves

My AAT brings all the droids to the yard, and they're like, this thing sucks.

My AAT brings all the droids to the yard, and they're like, this thing sucks.

Where I talk of many things, of B5 and Heighliners, of Shuttles and Ornithopters

Where I talk of many things, of B5 and Heighliners, of Shuttles and Ornithopters

It'd be a lot more cool if the Pelican scooped up its squishes in its maw

It'd be a lot more cool if the Pelican scooped up its squishes in its maw

Finally, something that pays attention to physics in the Expanse of your science fiction shows

Finally, something that pays attention to physics in the Expanse of your science fiction shows

This isn't the worst Good Night rendition you've heard. Admit it. We all know the truth.

This isn't the worst Good Night rendition you've heard. Admit it. We all know the truth.

Y'all know Prometheus didn't go out in a blaze of glory, right?

Y'all know Prometheus didn't go out in a blaze of glory, right?

I'm going to Ha'tak my ire out on this thing

I'm going to Ha'tak my ire out on this thing

I'm going to use the Slave I debacle to sneak some education into you

I'm going to use the Slave I debacle to sneak some education into you

"Narada" sounds like one of those goofy drugs you squishies have to take

"Narada" sounds like one of those goofy drugs you squishies have to take

The problem with the Matrix going with "APU" as the acronym is there's SO MANY expansions of it

The problem with the Matrix going with "APU" as the acronym is there's SO MANY expansions of it