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Let’s define Bitterness - “Bitterness is an attitude of extended and intense anger and hostility. It is often accompanied by resentment and a desire to get even. It is a result of not forgiving an offender and letting the hurt and anger grow until the pain and resentment sour the person’s view of life.” Bitterness doesn’t just impact you has the potential to “defile many.”

Bitterness is a sin. Hebrews 12:14-15 warns us that bitterness is poison, saying, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”

Contaminates the individual - changing their view on everything. “There is a cloud for ever silver lining

Contaminates others - You ever heard the whispers of a bitter gossip?
Bitterness can only be conquered by forgiveness. Ephesians 4:31-32 encourages us, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Important Action Steps for Overcoming Bitterness

1. Accept the reality of your hurt.

Have the client make a list of the people by whom they were hurt
And, what they needed from the person.

Be honest whether the person will ever be able to meet the need
Accept the loss and the need to grieve it.

2. Forgive
“Forgiveness is an act of the will, a decision not to think or talk about what someone has done. It is an active process involving a conscious choice and a deliberate course of action. It is the canceling of a debt that your spouse has incurred because of improper behavior or word.”

Four Promises of Forgiveness; 1. I will not think about the incident. 2. I will not bring up the incident again or use it against you. 3. I will not talk to others about the incident. 4. I will not allow the incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.

3. Look Elsewhere
Find somewhere else to get your needs met, where appropriate.
Consider whether it is a need that can only be met by God, such as self-worth, etc.

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