I talk about never settling for less than you deserve a lot. Mostly in reference to toxic or abusive relationships. But it’s not just about that. I see people settling for less EVERYWHERE and in many aspects of their lives.
Staying together in a relationship for the sake of the kids, when neither of you is happy, let alone bring out the best in each other, is settling for less.
Spending years in a job you hate, instead of fighting for your dream career and life is settling for less.
Slipping into the same old patterns with siblings and playing the same role you did within your family as a child, even though you’re now all adults and the thought of going to those family events makes you cringe.
That’s settling for less.
Drinking too much, binge eating unhealthy food, never exercising, or treating your body with respect. That’s settling for less than you deserve too.
What happens when you settle for less is that over time that becomes your acceptable new normal. Your barrier of self-worth gets lower and lower and you start to resign yourself to the fact that this is how your life is. Get over it.
You feel resentment towards that other person you feel trapped with. You’ve both been looking to the other to find completeness and joy. But they can’t see you, hear you or love you in the way you need to be as they are depending on you to make them feel good about themselves. You both have an empty bucket inside with holes in it. Neither can fill the void of the other within.
And so you are stuck in this cycle of unhappiness and loneliness, even though you have them sleeping beside you in bed. And the years keep ticking by.
You go through the motions at work. It’s like Groundhog Day. You wake up unmotivated and uninspired by the week ahead. So, you put one foot in front of the other and keep your head down and can’t wait until Friday, but then feel dread on a Sunday that you’re soon going to repeat this all over again.
There is no passion. You have no idea what the purpose of your life is anymore. You’re just bored.
You may drive to a family event and start to tense up. On high alert for the moment you know your buttons will be pressed. And when they are you try not to react and do what you always do - shapeshift.
You go back into your well-known childhood role of People-Pleaser, suppress your feelings and opinions and try to keep the peace until you go back home.But then you want to scream in annoyance and frustration.
Does any of this sound like you?
How often do you listen to friends pour their heart out to you over the phone and then sign off the call, never having asked how you are? You put up with it.
Or eat an average meal with appalling service at an expensive restaurant you are disappointed by but swallow it and when the waiter asks: how is everything? Great, you respond!
This is settling for less. And if this is you, then you’re playing a role. You’re not living authentically as YOU. And that gets exhausting. Trust me, I know, as for years I lived like this too.
But worse, as the years go by life gets less and less satisfying, more joyless. And you start to wonder who on earth you are anymore and why you give and give and give and everyone else just takes. Happiness seems so elusive to you.
So many women say this to me. Why they put others' needs first, suppress their feelings and opinions, people-please, not show up for themselves, fear the future, stick in loveless relationships way past their used-by-date.
Because they're settling for less than they deserve in every aspect of their life. And then they ask: Is it too late for me? The answer is no. It's never too late.
If this sounds like you then book message me to book a call with me.
But ONLY if you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired of accepting less in your life.
AND are ready to TAKE ACTION TODAY to fight for your dream.
Never settle for less in life or love
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controlling mothersdomestic violence survivorempowermenthealthy relationshipsinspirational speakersinternational speakerslife after abuselovelove addictionmotivational speakersnarcissismnarcissistnarcissistic abusenarcissistic mothersrecovering from abusive relationshipsself awarenessself beliefself confidenceself esteemself helpself loveself sabotageself worthtoxic relationships