Disclaimer: This video is a lot easier to watch than to practice. (Both the pasta and the message)

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I have been practicing this for years

And still have to check myself.

Here’s how to not take things so personally.

Taking things personally is ruining your relationships.

That person who didn’t text you back? It’s not personal.

That friend who betrayed you? It’s not personal

That coworker who doesn’t like you? It’s not even

Even the people who do like you. It’s not personal.

Taking things personally means assuming that what people do or say is about us.

And that is a product of low self-esteem.

When you struggle to love yourself, you outsource to other people. And other people, will never give you exactly what you want and need.

The truth is, what other people say or do is because of who they are, not because of who you are.

And what you say and do to others is because of who you are, not because of what they’ve done.

Taking things personally is like saying “your story, is about me.”

So how do you stop?

By showing empathy.

By getting curious about their story, not as a chapter in your book, but their own narrative.

And when you feel wronged, instead of harboring resentment and saying “how could you do this to me?”

You can literally say,

“I see that this is your struggle, not mine. Thank you for giving me the gift of discomfort so that I can give myself the gift of growth.”

Video by Sarah Snow

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