Parody song of "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus, with a Dungeons and Dragons spin! Based on a real, imaginary event, where my party insisted on battling a monster that was clearly waaaay above their pay grade. No amount of meta-gaming could persuade them otherwise: believe me, I tried.

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Lyrics:

On a quest, for some gold
Killed some goblins and kobolds
Then things took, quite the turn
Got ambushed by a Purple Worm

Mmm our Sorcerer was bleeding
Our Rogue was gonna die
Thought this was goodbye, but then remembered I

I’m a High Elf with Powers
I can heal with my hands
Send down a meteor shower
Shoot fireballs on demand

I can do some entrancing
With just a one word command
Yeah I can ruin what my DM has planned

Can really ruin
I can really ruin, baby
Can really ruin,
I can really ruin baby

He thought we would just run
But we all know that’s no fun
All his hints, disregard
We’re gonna level up so hard

Ooh this was an epic monster
He didn’t want us to fight
But I gave it a try cause I remembered I

I’m a high elf with powers
Can conjure a wall of sand
Watch my dungeon master glower
When his attacks never land

I can perform necromancy
And raise an army of the damned
Yeah I can ruin what my DM has planned

Can really ruin
I can really ruin, baby
Can really ruin,
I can really ruin baby

Can really ruin
I can really ruin, baby
Can really ruin,
I can really ruin baby

Ooh, this might wreck the story
Our DM was trying to write
But I grabbed my die cause I remembered I

I’m a high elf with powers
I can cast ‘Bibgy’s hand’
And yes I know that’s a reference
That only nerds will understand

Time for some level advancing!
We’ll be the richest in the land!
Yeah I can ruin what my DM
Yeah I can ruin what my DM has planned

Can really ruin
I can really ruin, baby
Can really ruin,
I can really ruin baby

Can really ruin
I can really ruin, baby
Can really ruin,
I can really ruin baby

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