My name is Sarah Jane Nelson and I'm a songwriter and Country/Americana/Folk artist based in East Nashville, Tennessee.
"Smile Pretty" was not an easy song to write. When I was in my early 20's was the victim of sexual assault by an acquaintance and never told anyone. I felt violated, embarrassed, and confused, but I kept the hurt inside. I didn't even tell my closest friends and family.
Flash forward to 2019 and Brett Kavanaugh was accused of sexually assaulting Christine Blasely Ford when they were in high school. I'm not going to get political here (I pretty much stay away from politics) BUT the reason I bring this up is that my Facebook feed blew up with people saying, "She must be lying because she waited so many years to tell."
That hit me hard. I remembered what I went through and knew that I never told anyone. And I'm an outspoken person! It made me realize that if I never told, there must be so many victims who have experienced sexual assault and kept it inside, just like I did. It made me wonder why?
We fear that the criminal justice system won't hold the assailant responsible because of their power or status (this was the case for me), we don't want to relive it by telling people, we want it to just go away, we fear that we'll somehow be blamed, and many other concerns that make it seem logical for a traumatized person to say nothing.
I am done with saying nothing. I woke up at 5am one morning and wrote "Smile Pretty" in just over an hour. I cried as I sat in bed typing out the lyrics and strumming the chords. That day, I was at the Kerrville Folk Festival where I was a New Folk finalist. I played "Smile Pretty" for a truly inspirational songwriter Mary Gauthier. Mary listened quietly and then said, "Sarah Jane, that song's gonna touch a lot of lives." Hearing such a supportive first response was so important to me as it fueled my confidence that it was okay to be so vulnerable, to share, and to let my voice be heard.
I hope "Smile Pretty" starts a conversation for those who hear it. If we all raise our voices, imagine the power we would take back. Every 72 seconds an American is sexually assaulted and every 9 minutes that person is a child. Can you imagine how many other assaults are unreported?
"Smile Pretty" is based partly on my experiences but also experiences of others. This song is about all of us.
I'd like to give a very special thank you to the women who joined me in this video. They are all survivors of sexual assault and their stories moved me so much. Thank you for your courage.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence, help is available. The National Sexual Assault Hotline gives free, confidential, anonymous support 24/7 at 800.565.HOPE or chat online.rainn.org.
Sincerely and With Love,
Sarah Jane
www.SarahJaneNelson.com
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