Love is a beautiful thing, isn’t it? The butterflies in your stomach, the constant thoughts of your special someone, and the feeling of being on cloud nine. But what happens when those feelings become overwhelming and all-consuming? What happens when love morphs into something darker, something that feels like it’s taking over your life?
That’s when we enter the realm of obsessive love. Obsessive love isn’t just about passion; it’s about possession. It’s about losing yourself in the pursuit of someone else, to the point where you forget who you are without them. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions that can leave you feeling exhilarated one moment and utterly lost the next.
With that said, here are the 5 stages of obsessive love, according to psychology:
Stage 1: Infatuation
The first stage of healthy and obsessive love don’t differ much. You meet someone who seems perfect in every way, and suddenly, they’re all you can think about. You find yourself thinking about them constantly, replaying conversations in your mind, and eagerly awaiting the next time you’ll see them. When you’re in the honeymoon phase, everything about your crush seems perfect, and there’s no getting enough of them. You spend every waking moment thinking about them, fantasizing about your future together, and feeling like you’re walking on air.
Stage 2: Intensification
This is where healthy and obsessive love begin to differ. For obsessive love, it doesn’t matter if your crush reciprocates your feelings or not. You become increasingly attached to them anyway, and you begin looking for any hint that they might feel the same way — all the while ignoring any sign that says otherwise.
You’re constantly checking your phone for any messages or updates about them. You overanalyze every little interaction you have, and start rearranging your schedule just for a chance to catch a glimpse of them. Your friends start to notice the change in you, how you’re always talking about this person, and how you seem to have lost interest in everything else.
Stage 3: Obsession
When you’re obsessively in love with someone, you may feel a constant need to know where they are, who they’re with, and what they’re doing at all times. You become increasingly paranoid and controlling, questioning their every move and demanding their undivided attention. Because when obsession takes over, rational thinking goes out the window.
You start getting mad when they don’t respond right away, and demand to know every detail of their plans. You pick fights because they start liking someone else’s posts on social media, or can’t make time to be with you as much as you want. You might even insist that they cancel plans, jeopardize their work, or stop being friends with someone just to please you.
Because you’re already doing the same for them; you stop spending time with friends, your grades or work performance starts to slip, and you’re constantly forgetting your responsibilities. Your entire identity becomes wrapped up in this person, and you begin to lose sight of who you are outside of the relationship.
And as the obsession intensifies, so does the strain on your mental and emotional well-being. You may experience anxiety, depression, and a deep sense of insecurity as you constantly seek validation from your partner. Your friends and family may express concern for your well-being, but you brush off their warnings, convinced that your love is all that matters.
5 Stages Of Obsessive Love, Stage 4 Is The Most Dangerous
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