I lived my whole life with a deep passion for growth and transformation. But there were many struggles I could not shake off right away. Some never seemed to stop. The more I tried, the worse it got at times.

I carried a deep anger, continually beating myself up for the lack of progress I seemed to be manifesting. Meanwhile, I was relentlessly hard on myself in how I evaluated my journey.

After years of living like this, the frustration led me to face myself in a whole new way. I wanted results, but I did not love myself. God entered into my pain to teach me how to see myself with new eyes.

I didn’t know how to be ok with not being ok. In my conditioning, it was unacceptable. It felt like failure. So, for most of my life, I built a foundation on making sure I was “good” for people. I didn’t know how to make room for weakness, mistakes and struggle, without feeling deep shame and embarrassment.

I felt like when I wasn’t “good,” a giant spotlight was on me, as if everyone was gasping at the sight of, “Mark’s not doing good!” I always felt I had to be strong for everyone. So, when I was not, I didn’t know how to manifest it in a healthy way.

When I learned to experience self-compassion, God’s love became more real to me. This loving acceptance gave me a powerful glimpse of the Father’s perspective over my life and battles. It also became a major turning point for growth and empowered decisions. I was able to see life with greater clarity. Love gave me that ability.

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