This is it. The seminal legendary movie that nobody saw !

The story of the young, hip, single gad about London town Professor of paleontology, Tony "disco pants" Farms.
In this adventure Tony discovers that he's not just a hue-man, he is a super-type-man.

After being discovered by an Aztec priest (after he throws Tony out of a window first) Vadinho (please stop screaming every time you see his face) kissing his frog necklace and tells Tony that he is like his father, and his father's father - and his father's father's father.. [ snip ]. He how the powers of a puma and err..can fly (very badly) and *ahem*.. walk through walls... just like the... wild cat... He is the PUMA MAN !

(And please note - it's not pronounced "poo" it is "you" P-YOU-MA Man.)

The Aztec priest tells of a big ugly golden mask (with a circuit board inserted into the base) which has fell into the hands of Donald Pleasance (who is already dressed and ready for the leather fetish party later on) and is using to control the minds - and also to create some terrible Madame Tussaud rejected heads (Is that Al Gore?) which he inserts wires into for some reason.

His unwitting assistant, the alluring Jane Dobson, daughter of the Dutch Ambassador (with this Rocher, you are spoiling us !) is under the power of Kobras (Pleasance) and lures Tony into a trap, but then he slowly gets away.

Tony battles with Kobras and his Italian actor henchmen, who are over in London on a jolly and hire a Rolls Royce, a Mercedes sports card and a couple of Jaguar XJ's, which are eventually wrecked (though the Rolls thankfully isn't).

But they do pick on the Volkswagens - the Aztec priest vandalizes Tony's VW Beetle.
Also keep an eye out for the love child of a fire engine and a VW camper van.

I've wandered off now... where was I...?

Oh yes the terrible special effects with the flying ("lucky these mini trampolines were here heh ?") and the weak subplot about Donald (Kobras ! Kobras...aaah..) trying to take over the world by inviting all the important military leaders to his mansion and using the badly designed mask (did they find it in a dump ?) to get them to all nod. Which they do.

There's some more crap flying (BOING ! BOING !), fight scenes... a bit of graphic violence on Vadinho (he doesn't seem to mind), walking through walls and then Tony unconvincingly plays dead to convince a henchman his is dead.

And the music ! Composed on a Casio - digital watch. This is what inspired Daft Punk to form don't you know.

In the end... well I don't want to spoil the ending.
It's not one of those run of the mill hero wins, kills the baddie and gets the girl type of movies let me tell you !

Oh...

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