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Jon Lajoie's Everyday Normal Guy
Lyrics:

Im just a regular everyday normal guyNothin special bout me Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guyWhen I go to the clubs I wait in line Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guyI got $600 in da bank Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guyAnd my sexual performance is an average.

I work at customer service
for a phone company,
I make 12 bucks an hour
but thats all I need.
I live in a small apartment
on a quiet street
I dont go out too much
I like to watch TV
I cant afford a car
I use public transportation
I dont mind
I read till I reach my destination
sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
the amount of money I save,
this shit is off the hook

And Im not very good with the women
Im a pretty shy person
and Im average looking
last time I had sex was in 2003
and Im ashamed to admit it
but it wasnt free

Im just a regular everyday normal guyI get nervous in social situations Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guyI get constipated once a month Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guyAnd i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guy..and I get scared when I go see da dentist.

Im da Pauly Shore of everyday life
easily forgettable
and Im not very liked
I have an According to Jim personality
Im as entertaining as a fuckin STD

If you wanna mess with me
I think you probably can
because Im not confident
and i am weak for a man
Ill just roll up in a ball
while you kick me in da back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I dont have any friends
that would back me up
My friend Steve would
but he doesnt look very tough.

Steve You want some of this bitch?

If you rarely get laid
put your hands up
If youre not well paid
put your hands up
If you got a pet cat
put your hands up
and if you got a bad back
put your hands up

Jon I hurt my back 2 summers ago moving a fridge and ever since then it just not da same you know it it gets preIt gets pretty sore!

Im just a regular everyday normal guyMy parents are really nice people Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guyIm somewhat afraid of heights Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guyI like da show greys anatomy Mutha Fucka.
Im just a regular everyday normal guyand Im pretty good at making paper planes.

Steve I could do this all day! I could do this all day! I could do this all day!

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