Have you ever received an email that rubbed you the wrong way and completely got under your skin? I’m sure we have all received an angry email criticizing or blaming us. Our first response is emotional which can include outrage, disappointment and frustration combined with expletives, some angry hand or finger gestures. We’re human and it’s totally normal to get upset when something like this happens.

The key thing is to not be reactive by immediately trying to formulate a response while we are emotionally charged. Better to let yourself cool down, go for a walk, take a deep breath and think it through before responding. Don’t be too eager to press “send.”

It can also help to get the opinion of a colleague to see if the email was actually as critical as we thought it was because it’s totally possible that the other person‘s intention wasn’t to criticize. Our subjective self isn’t always easily able to look at things objectively.

Finally, emails are not always the best medium for communicating sensitive items and I find it best to pick up the phone and talk to the person so I can explain myself and try to understand their perspective. So, in summary, follow these steps when you get an angry email:

1. Don’t respond immediately
2. Take time to cool down
3. Get a colleague or friend to look at it
4. Reach out and talk to the person

What have you done when you received an angry and critical email and how have you responded to that? Would love to learn from your personal experiences.

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