Matt LeMay shared a personal story from his own career 10 years ago when he was working as a product manager, and how taking a defensive posture and focussing our efforts on defending our contributions can lead us down a wrong path and distract us from our actual goals and objectives. Matt highlighted that some of the worst days we have in product are often largely of our own making — especially when we dig in and defend rather than open up and listen. And while defensiveness makes everything worse, there are some tools and techniques that can help us open up and break this cycle. Matt shared three tips including presenting multiple options and avoiding yes/no conversations and decisions; the power of initial reactions like “OK, great! And...then” to avoid head-to-head battles and find common ground with others; and the value of a 24-hour buffer for actions where we may be defensive or reactive.

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