Passive-aggressive people can be a “silent killer” to the morale and productivity of your team.
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Passive-aggressive behavior can be hard to identify but the effects are real. The challenge is it’s usually just subtle enough that it’s hard to identify right away. But, if left unchallenged, it will damage the morale and productivity of your team.
What does passive-aggressive behavior look like on a team?
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who makes a comment that offends you, yet they keep on going as if nothing happened? That’s likely a passive aggressive person. On the surface, it seems benign and not that big of a deal except that it frustrates or offends you on the inside. This is why passive aggressive behavior is so damaging. To the passive aggressive person, it’s an opportunity to say what they really want to say without being an obvious jerk. To the one receiving it, it feels like a cheap shot.
Why is passive-aggressive behavior bad for a team?
We might think that venting our frustration is better done in a passive, less obvious way, but it’s not. Choosing to be indirect and sly only creates confusion among team members. Even worse, it can create a lack of trust because you aren’t acting in the best interest of other team members. You’re choosing to be secretive and manipulative instead of being genuine and open.
What are the pre-conditions for changing your team culture?
If you let passive-aggressive behavior go, you are giving your team permission to behave in ways that are detrimental to the team culture. But confronting this unhealthy culture will take strong, courageous and clear leadership. Create the expectation that direct communication is the standard. Model this from the top down and privately confront those who choose passive-aggressive ways.
Three action steps when someone is being passive-aggressive:
Go to the person, privately, to discuss the issue.
Use “I feel….because” statements to express yourself. That way you aren’t accusing someone of something. You’re just explaining how their words or actions have made you feel.
Invite the other person to share their honest feelings. Instead of being indirect, invite them to share their true thoughts so you can understand it and evaluate what needs to change.
Your heart should be for the health of the team so you can all stay on mission.
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Unless otherwise noted, Bible verses are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation (NLT), copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
