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Psychology of No Contact Rule on Dumper or Ex

Undeniably, the most powerful method of doing this is the no contact rule. There is nothing more effective than cutting all connection with your ex once they break up with you. This way, you send a message to them that you understand and respect their decision. That you respect their need for distance and that you are not pushy or clingy when it comes to such situations.

You show your ex that you are a mature person they can count on in difficult situations. Otherwise, they would just block you or avoid you in public, and you won’t have access to them in any way. The no contact rule creates some kind of trust between you and your ex-partner and can even mend a relationship in some cases without you doing anything else but staying distant.

So, what is the psychology of the no contact rule, and why is it so effective?
Well, firstly, when your partner breaks up with you, they are in control. This is normal. The one that makes this move holds the strings and can pull them in any way they want. So, now that they have broken up with you, they think the decision to move on or get back together belongs to them only, and you are there to agree to whatever they decide finally.
However, this doesn’t have to be true. By employing the no contact rule, you can reverse the roles and change pace any time you want. You just have to play the cards right and follow the rule to a T.

Namely, when someone breaks up with you, they think once they decide to get you back, they can easily have you. In their mind, they believe, any time they send a text or call you and say, “Hey, I was wrong, let’s get back together,” that you will instantly agree and go back to them on their own terms. This mindset of theirs needs to be changed gradually. And you can change it best by employing the no contact rule from the moment your partner breaks up with you.

If you call them frequently or text them, message them on social media, you will only make things worse. On the other hand, if you say, “Fine, you need your space, I understand. If you want to break up, I respect that, and I will give you your space.” This will leave them surprised, unpleasantly surprised even, because they thought they could have you back any time they wanted. In fact, the moment a person starts planning a breakup, they expect that they will have to fight the other person and explain themselves and even argue and block them, ending a beautiful relationship bitterly.
By reacting in a calm manner and not stalking them after the breakup, you take your ex’s control from them. You end the dictatorship they have over you and leave them wondering why you aren’t acting in the predictable way that they expected you to act. But hang on with the no contact rule for at least 30 days. After the breakup, don’t call your ex, do not write, and don’t even respond to their texts and calls. A simple “I’m fine, thanks” text back is ok but nothing more than that. Absolutely nothing. The point is to leave them hanging until they start to miss you enough to realize that they want you back. Otherwise, if you stay in their life, then they have your presence as friendship, so why would they go back to you if you are already available as a friend to them.

So, if you see them on the street and you see they want to say hi, be polite and say hi back. If they come up and talk to you in the bar, be short and concise as they are a distant acquaintance you have nothing to say to.
And, the most important part. If you find out your ex had been on a date and you are dying to know who with and how it went, refrain from asking by all means. If you can find out by asking people that won’t tell your ex that you asked, sure, ask, but otherwise do not show you care at all. This will only show them that you are jealous and that you still care but only pretend not to. Your no contact rule will be exposed and they will get their control back. At that point you will have nothing else to do to make your ex want you back.

Know that the no contact rule plays with your ex’s mind, taking away the control they have over you and making them realize that they can’t have you back any time they feel like it. This leaves them vulnerable and makes them miss you even more. And once they get you back, they will try harder around you and appreciate the relationship, even more, trying to make it work this time.

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