I knew a guy in my master’s program who was so overworked he was on the brink of exhaustion. He had to juggle a job to cover his bills and student loans while also managing five demanding courses each quarter. We had a group email chat with him, myself, and about five others. One day, he sent us an email saying he was sorry, but he couldn’t help us with our project, that he was dropping out of school, and that we wouldn’t see him again.

We all really liked him, so we let him know how much he meant to us. We told him things he probably didn’t hear often, like how essential he was to our group and that we depended on him not only for his contributions but also for his general input. A few hours later, he emailed us again saying he had reconsidered and decided not to drop out. He also apologized for flooding our inbox with his messages.

A year or so later, his girlfriend—who had become a mutual friend—told us that not only was he seriously contemplating dropping out at the time of that email, but he had actually walked to a bridge that day with the intention of ending it. Now, he’s a high-level manager at Amazon with a wife and two kids. It’s great to check in on him from time to time and see how happy he is. I’m not sure if our expressions of gratitude that day played a significant role in helping him change his mind, but I’m sure it helped in some way. It’s a reminder to always let people know the kind things you’re thinking about them.


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