We all get labeled in life. But what happens when a doctor hangs the label of MCI on you? Is that who you become? Today I offer you the inspiring story of Mary Lee, who has learned to wear the label of MCI more lightly, and wants to help soften that label for you, too.

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Here is a partial transcript of today's video:

I’m wearing a label today. We all get labeled. Mine says “white male,” and that's accurate.

But today what I want to talk about is a label that would be more relevant to you. This one. What happens when a doctor hangs the label of MCI on you? Is that the person you become?

I've been thinking about that a lot since I met Mary Lee, a delightful woman who I’ve come to know through my work. She has some really interesting thoughts about labels, especially around illness, and the importance of softening those label, and that’s what I want to talk about today.

Hi, I’m Tony Dearing, of GoCogno.com, the website for people with mild cognitive impairment.

Mary Lee is 82 and lives in a small Midwestern town where she is a member of a Benedictine religious community. About a year ago, she was tested for dementia because of a test she was required to take for driving and the results suggested a possibile Mild Neurocognitive Impairment. Here’s how she says she reacted to the news.

"I was terrified. I can’t tell you, I was terrified. And I thought, oh my God, I don’t believe this. And I thought, I don’t even know a thing about this. What is it?"

So she went looking for answers, and she found these brain-heath videos I do every week, and now, she often comments on them. But was one comment she posted recently that I just couldn’t get out of my mind. It had to do with illness and labels and the death of her mother.

In part, she wrote: "I am wondering about labels that are the name for that which we have been diagnosed. Do labels confine us to a make believe life?

She wrote that her mother was 70 and quite ill, and when her mother learned that she had a condition called aplastic anemia, she seemed to lose hope and she passed away shortly afterward.

Mary Lee wrote, "I remember the shock on her face which devastated us, her family. As a result of remembering that painful time I really hope to listen to others and . . . soften the label that they often believe is who they are."

This idea of softening the label really intrigued me, and I wanted to know if Mary Lee had been able to do that for herself. She was kind enough to chat with me, and she admitted that yes, at first, the label consumed her.

"When I found that out, it .. I didn’t know anything about it and the label, you know, was very harsh just to have that label without a softening or you know a spark of hope that . . . that it’s bigger than a label such as cancer."

But over time, Mary Lee found that spark of hope, and the weight of the label began to lighten. She began to see the statistics that most people with MCI do not progress to dementia, and that it’s possible to slow or stabilize cognitive decline.

Just listening to Mary Lee, it is evident that she is defined not by what she has but by who she is, a determined woman who has seen the impact of labels in her life and is determined to soften the label others by giving each and every one of them hope.

I asked her what she would tell someone who had just been diagnosed. She said:

She said if the person wanted to talk about it, and was comfortable sharing their feelings, "I would tell them that a diagnosis is not who you are, it is what you have been given — much bigger than just that label.

"And there’s a whole lot more that we do not know but there’s a lot we do know about it, and there’s hope within that realm."

She said, "I would share what research has found to be a help in reversing this or maintaining what abilities they have."

She said she also would talk about "openness to new changes in life and listening to the stories others have to share, listening with the ear of your heart as our founder St. Benedict invites us to do."


"And I definitely would, if they are Christian, I would definitely say, remember, the love of God is more powerful than any of us."

Wise words indeed. That’s why I wanted to share them with you today, and I hope you find them helpful. I’ll see you again next week. Until then, as always, be kind to your mind.

This site is educational, and is not intended as medical advice. It offers information about lifestyle choices that have been proven to help protect cognition. Always consult your doctor before making changes that can impact your health.

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