There’s an old AA saying: Hurt people hurt people. This presentation looks at the difficult men who present themselves for therapy either on their own or brought in by their partners. We will look at common themes of trauma in many men’s lives and how best to handle men’s wounds therapeutically; how trauma often translates into overt and covert depression which in turn fuels many typically male issues of self-medication and either sexual or aggressive acting out. Special attention will be paid to grandiosity in men and how to treat it. Practical techniques will be introduced to help men come up from the one down of shame, feelings of inferiority and also help men come down from the one up of grandiosity, feelings of contempt for others, or entitlement and being above the rules. The wound to girls is the loss of voice and disempowerment at the edge of adolescence. The wound to boys is not so much disempowerment but disconnection. The healing potential is reconnecting boys and men to their hearts, to their vulnerabilities, and to others. Connection heals trauma.

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Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of I Don't Want to Talk About It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage.

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