The next ad break kicks off with a plug for Olay’s latest skin cream, and like car ads, it’s getting quite difficult to talk about these cosmetic products, because they’re all just the same thing. Attractive female model rubs cream in, strokes herself, looks pretty – the end. Next up is a slightly more interesting ad for Herbal Essences shampoo, which I actually know pretty well from its appearances on many rental VHS tapes of the era, and if the courtroom setting is somewhat unrealistic, at least the song is a little catchy. I actually think all court sessions should be musicals like this – it would make second-degree manslaughter charges a lot more interesting.

Anyway, next is an ad for Lea & Perrins Table Sauce, oozing all over a delicious meal, followed by Morrisons boasting about all the fresh stuff they make, yet whenever you order a good tiger loaf from them, there’s never one to be found. Then an ad for the Ford Fiesta Flight, which, despite the very alliterative name, probably doesn’t actually fly. I wish it did, though.

While they still exist, building societies really don’t get mentioned too much anymore, but The Principality was a pretty big one in Wales back then, even if they couldn’t afford to film their ad in colour. BT Cellnet is another service that no longer exists, being transferred to the O2 name in 2002, though looking at the vaguely creepy CGI on the girl at the start, maybe that’s for the best.

Repeat time for that kids’ album then – probably foreshadowing how much I would repeat this CD at the time – followed by an ad for a Christmas sale going on down at Boots. In fact, I think the only thing they don’t sell is actual boots. The ad break then closes off with a promo for the, ahem, “sexy” edition of Night and Day, a short-lived soap opera that originally aired in the day, but then got shafted late into the night, so yeah, I guess it did live up to its title.

We’ll soldier on to the next ad break, where a bunch of kids eagerly pour out of school to admire their dad’s new Vauxhall, followed by an ad for Littlewoods, where Graham Norton laments the fact that he can’t buy a pair of Harry Potter pyjamas. Of course, Littlewoods still exists now, but back then it was more of a shop and catalogue service, before they later sold all the stores to become an online retailer only. I doubt they still sell the Potter pyjamas, though.

Halifax then jump in with one of their usual song-and-dance numbers of the time, looking, as always, to give you “extra”, though no Harold Brown, unfortunately, so I don’t rate this one nearly as highly. A dad makes a poor joke in an ad for Persil, only for his wife to exact her revenge, and then two nosey neighbours fume over their nemesis and his ability to get a cheap car by “asking Jeeves”. You know, I actually thought Ask Jeeves still existed until a few years ago, but then I read that Jeeves got fired in 2006 and I just felt old again. (I looked this all up on Google, of course.)

An unorthodox ad for McDonald’s Happy Meals comes next, not promoting the monthly toys like they usually would, but instead telling a story all about how a brother comforts his depressed sister by giving her some cheap Chicken McNuggets to soothe her woes. I’m sure we can always count on Ronald to cure any mental illness, can’t we?

Anyway, to finish off there’s a clever little ad for McCain potato wedges – somehow, the short, sweet ones are always best – followed by an ad for Faith Hill’s latest album, another Vauxhall ad, and then it’s back to more ITV drama.

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