"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"




In 1953, Aperture Science was founded by Cave Johnson, as a shower curtain manufacturer. In 1956, the Eisenhower administration signed a contract with Aperture to manufacture shower curtains to all branches of the US Military, except the Navy. That was the main activity of Aperture Science from 1957 to 1973.[1][2] During this period, Johnson became a billionaire.
In 1974, Johnson was exposed to mercury while secretly developing a dangerous mercury-injected rubber sheeting from which he planned to manufacture seven deadly shower curtains to be given as gifts to each member of the House Naval Appropriations committee,[1][2] likely because the decision of the Navy not getting its shower curtains from Aperture depended on that committee, and Johnson probably held a grudge against them for that.

In 1976, both of Cave Johnson's kidneys failed. Brain damaged, dying, and incapable of realizing time was not flowing backwards (thus realizing his time would come soon), he laid out a three tiered research and development program. The results, he said, would "guarantee the continued success of Aperture Science far into the fast-approaching distant past". The two first tiers (the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver and the Take-A-Wish Foundation) were a failure, while the third one, the "Portal" project, grew to a success.[1][2] What happened to Cave Johnson afterward is unknown.

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