Our live caller wants to know, "How can a mid-life crisis affect my marriage?" He explains that he's currently separated from his wife, but things are going well. Still, she feels confused about their relationship. She doesn't know what to do, and doesn't know what she wants.

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Dr. Joe Beam asks this caller, "Has anything happened in the last year that your wife would consider as a 'loss' or a 'major loss?'"

Our live caller explains there were 3 specific changes- they sold their businesses, their kids moved out, and his wife had a health scare.

All three of these examples are major lifestyle changes. And here at Marriage Helper, we don't use the phrase mid-life crisis. Instead, we understand a mid-life crisis as a mourning period; a time of loss. A time where someone thought they would have something, but it didn't happen. Or, they had something but the situation dramatically changed.

Children moving out. Missing them. Selling a business. Day to day changes. The possibility of dying from an illness... This caller's wife went through 3, intermingled grief processes. And her current state of confusion is understandable. So, what can this caller do?

First, he can recognize his wife's sense of loss. Second, he can help her grieve these losses through resources from the Spark of Life. (Spark of Life is a nonprofit dedicated to helping people who've experienced devastating loss. They are experts on loss.)

- Spark Of Life: sparkoflife.org

Last of all, remember to avoid judging someone else's grief. Don't say things like, "It's no big deal." Or, "That's not stressful." Things can add up over time and really affect a person. Remember to be kind, and respect their experience of loss.

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