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Attraction grows in space, not in close proximity. If you want to raise a woman’s attraction for you, you first need to get her thinking about you. Being less responsive is one way to accomplish this. There’s a deep underlying psychology when it comes to texting and calling women if you want to build attraction. What you say, how you say it, how long your messages are, how frequently you send messages, who initiates first, and how fast you respond communicates either weakness or strength. When a man immediately responds to a woman’s messages, the woman can’t help but feel the man’s desperation. And what kind of man is desperate? The weak and unattractive man.
Numerous psychological studies show that men who are highly responsive are less attractive to women. A responsive behavior set is comprised of behaviors that signal that a man “understands, values, and is willing to support a woman and invest his resources into the relationship.” In other words, he is prepared to become the ultimate provider both physically and emotionally.
Most men believe that acting this way is a good thing. They assume the more supportive, understanding, and responsive they are the more likely a woman is to find them attractive. And while it’s true that men find responsive women attractive, women don’t feel the same way about responsive men.
If there are any lessons to be learned from studies into attraction, it’s that women aren’t attracted to nice guys. They’re attracted to men who project strength and confidence. If you start with the fundamental truth that women are attracted to strength in all its various forms and guises, it becomes a lot easier to see why being a “nice guy” and why being responsive is so unattractive. From a woman’s perspective, a responsive man is more likely to be exploited by others. The responsive man also sends the signal that he’s eager to please, has a weaker character, and has fewer dating options.
If you’re over responsive and too available, you communicate weakness. A woman wants to know that she can have space without having to worry about you getting upset or becoming clingy. Every human being wants freedom. If a woman thinks you’ll try to restrict her freedom in any way, she’ll instinctively pull away from you. It’s only in times of strife and uncertainty that problems arise. You must never allow your fears and insecurities to derail what should otherwise be a straightforward seduction.
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If you want to maintain attraction with a woman, right from the moment you first meet her all the way through to a long-term relationship, then I highly recommend you get a copy of my book Atomic Attraction.
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Trust yourself and trust the process,
Chris Canwell
