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I grew up with purity rings and True Love Waits, with Rebecca St. James preaching that good, “stay pure” message. I heard how sex was dirty and sinful (until you were married), how our flesh was weak and would lead us astray. Ss someone growing up in a trans body without language for my identity, it was easy to conflate my feelings of dysphoria with the messages of purity culture.
I tried to avoid thinking about my body as much as I could and I considered that holy.
After I came out as queer I did a lot of work to unpack purity culture. I got more in touch with my body. I figured out some of my sexual ethics. I figured out what I believed was required of me from God in regard to my body. I thought I was done. I was at peace. I had it sorted.
When I came out as trans, something else happened: I got a whole new set of negative body messages. “No one will love you because you’re trans.” “Straight women won’t want to be with you. Gay men won’t want to be with you. Queer women will only be with you if they can see you as a woman.” You will never be enough for anyone.
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