The History & Practice of Vajra Romance Relationships & Vajrayana Principles presented by Ngakma Mé-tsal Wangmo & Naljorpa Ja'gyür Dorje.

Vajra romance has been taught in every Tibetan Buddhist lineage. It is one of the fundamental principles of Tantra. It played a particularly central role in the early days of Tantra in India. It was the main practice of Mahasiddhas such as Saraha and Dombipa, who founded the principal Tantric lineages. It was the primary practice of various Tibetan Mahasiddhas, notably the Sixth Dala’i Lama and Jetsunma Sera Khandro Rinpoche. It has also been the primary practice of innumerable lesser-known Indians and Tibetans.

In Tantra, Vajra romance is part of the two-person practice called karma mudra. Historically karma mudra was regarded as essential to attaining Buddhahood (although various traditions interpret this in different ways). Karma mudra has two aspects. First, one regards one’s lover as a fully enlightened Buddha. Second, while in sexual union, the couple engages in highly technical exercises that manipulate the psychophysical energy of the “subtle body.”

The first aspect is “vajra romance.” Vajra romance is nothing more nor less than the practice of regarding one’s lover as enlightened.
One of the Fourteen Root Vows—the fundamental prerequisites to Tantra—is “never to denigrate women.” This is a statement of the principle of vajra romance from a male perspective. The detailed explanation of why one should not denigrate women depends on the lineage, but essentially it relates to the first aspect of karma mudra: vajra romance. If a man regards women as inherently defective in any way, karma mudra is impossible.

Dzogchen men-ngak-dé is largely concerned with practices of “viewing one’s lover as a Buddha”.

Dzogchen long-dé is largely concerned with practices of the energies of the subtle body. The Tantric karmamudra practices belong to Anuyoga, in which these energies are deliberately manipulated according to intricate set patterns. Long-dé instead teaches one to experience the sensations resulting from the energies as they naturally arise, without specifically directing them. The Aro teachings discuss the energetic interactions of lovers in long-dé style. The word “romance” is used in English because these interactions suffuse the entire relationship—whereas the Tantric teachings on karmamudra focus more narrowly on the sexual act itself.

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