2019-04-12 - Crash Landing 3 show at 81Bay Brewing featuring ¡Curb Alert!
thee WalMart Song
D, A, G, Bm
Styrofoam Cups, generic stuff, discount parts, microwavable foods
Squeegees, scrungees, Duck Dynasty games & elastic banded goods
For the season, for no reason, hanging out, making friends
Cheap pieces of plastic Americana hangin out from both ends
I’m Going to WalMart, Gonna Roll back & Save
I’m Going to WalMart, as soon as I get paid,
I’m Going to WalMart, in a tank-top & sweatpants
I’m Going to WalMart, And makin’ America great again
Got birth control, Prescription pills, deals on cheap booze,
Feed my ADHD, with Magazines I can take to the bathroom.
Don’t need to read or write, or use common reason,
Don’t need to speak that right, by using good English
Kids loose on vacation; #2 clean-up in aisle 10,
Minions on jam-jams, Nascar-flavored Slim-Jims,
Boxes of cool band-aids & brands of boxed Kool Aid,
Plastic bins of plastic forks, all price-checked in plastic bags
Bags 'o Fritos, Cheetos, and Doritos,
Refried beans for Half Baked burritos,
for fully baked weirdos, I'm shopping in my Speedo,
Somehow this feels illegal but everybody's my amigo
I’m Going to WalMart, Gonna Roll back & Save
I’m Going to WalMart, straight with my Amscot pay,
I’m Going to WalMart, drunk at 3 AM
I’m Going to WalMart, gonna eat at Subway
D, A, Bm, G,
FULL OF CONSUMABLES, DISPOSABLE,
NOT REALLY USEFUL, & NEVER COMPOSTABLE / dispensable
No Shoes, no shirt, no shorts & no shame,
No insurance, so watch out front for mini vans,
with bumper stickers of 12 stick figures & no bumper,
In the parking lot, meeting up from Craigslist adds, as
I roll in with local low-end apartment cholos,
& ghetto party hoes in Camo pantyhose
Hopp’d up on NoDoz, Poppin’ four lokos,
Rockin’ Obama phones, and lookin’ out for those
Bananas, hammocks, and banana hammocks,
spandex pants for moms, and off-brand condoms,
I got half of China in my cart, checkin out, then I shout,
Forgot to grab Donald Trump Cardboard cut-outs.
first chorus
