Welcome to Victoria, Australia’s most diverse, equitable, and inclusive state, where protesters seemingly run amok, burning, vandalising, and throwing horse manure and bottles at police. Oh, it’s a lovely place. Apparently, the best way to stop violence is to be violent. Don’t worry, the irony is not lost on me. This is the state where Premier Jacinta Allan this year introduced a Parliamentary Secretary for Men’s Behaviour Change, because you know, the best way to unite the state is to blame half the population. She’s also going around arbitrarily renaming places such as this lake, as well as using taxpayer money to fund religious events, which seems to run counter to the idea of being a secular state. The local residents weren’t consulted over the name change, but who cares says the Government! Because you don’t agree with them, their inclusivity doesn’t include you. As of yesterday, the State Government are rolling out free tampon vending machines across Melbourne, ahead of a statewide roll-out next year. “The Victorian government’s Free Pads and Tampons program is intended to provide free period products to everyone who needs them, regardless of gender.” Regardless of gender? Oh, that’s right. Of course, some Victorian men ovulate and have a vagina. What was I thinking?

At these recent protests, one of the groups that participated is called “Disrupt Wars”. Here’s their Instagram page. “Disrupting the War Machine in Oceania. #Decolonise”. They seemingly promote the vandalism of MPs offices by painting an upside-down red triangle on their faces, a symbol of Palestinian resistance. Here’s one example, “The office of Ross Vasta, a Liberal National Party MP, has been defaced in so-called Brisbane”. So-called Brisbane? They publish other posts where public statues and memorials have been defaced. “Imperial decorating scheme… blood stains the queen. The colony will fall. #landback #notmyking #treaty”. The inverted red triangle is also placed over prominent figures such as Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. I thought there must be more to this red triangle, and I was right. “Combat footage published by Hamas uses an inverted red triangle as an arrow to indicate Israeli military targets, such as tanks, just before they are struck.” So let’s be clear here, this Disrupt Wars group are actively promoting criminality in Australia.

But one of their most recent campaigns is to crash the official unveiling of Myer’s Christmas windows this Sunday in Bourke Street Mall, which has been an iconic fixture of Melbourne’s CBD since 1956. “Christmas is cancelled, and there will be no joy or frivolity while children in Gaza are massacred.” Consequently, Myer capitulated and actually cancelled the event. There will be no unveiling of the Christmas windows. “Myer cancels Christmas window display opening event amid planned pro-Palestinian protest”. The reason given by Myer was due to “safety fears”. The Guardian are reporting that the activists are now very pleased with themselves that Myer cancelled the event.

And I think we might have reached the limit of how woke Premier Allan is willing to go. She tweeted, “I am furious that a small group of people have chosen to politicise a beautiful event for children. I’m just as mad at all the others who have quietly stoked this division and egged them on. Blocking the Christmas windows won’t change a thing in the Middle East, but it will let down a bunch of kids in Melbourne. Who does that help? We are all a bit sick of this stuff. People have a right to demonstrate, no one has a right to divide. We cannot let ugly protests ruin a beautiful Christmas tradition, and we cannot let violence, division and vilification ruin what makes Victoria great.”

Oh yes, we don’t want division in Victoria, but we do need a Secretary of Men’s Behaviour Change, and we need to arbitrarily rename places without consulting the local residents. Those things aren’t divisive at all! Oh, I love the Victorian Government, don’t you?

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Allégro by Emmit Fenn

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