Becky asks, “How can she achieve orgasm through intercourse? When she gets close to orgasm during manual stimulation, she wants to let go, but she can't.” Josh Spurlock, counselor & sex therapist, responds.
The first question is, is she able to experience orgasm apart from intercourse? Only about one in three women are able to experience orgasm through intercourse alone. Most women require other kinds of stimulation as well, in order to achieve orgasm.
If she's not able to achieve orgasm at all, then she'll want to troubleshoot that first, either through a self help means of a book like Becoming Orgasmic or Restoring the Pleasure, or through working with a sex therapist, who will help her identify what's the block, what's getting in the way, and help her troubleshoot that.
If she is able to be orgasmic apart from intercourse, then she might start with trying to experience orgasm with her spouse’s penis inside of her, so she can experience the stimulation necessary to achieve orgasm with her vagina full. And then, maybe try stimulating to orgasm and beginning intercourse right after the orgasm reflex begins to kick in.
And then from there, kind of moving towards being very close to orgasm, and beginning intercourse at that stage and seeing if the clitorus stimulation from intercourse is able to continue that build of arousal past the threshold of orgasm.
So those are some places that Becky can start. Hopefully that's helpful to you. If you need more help reach out to one of the sex therapists at MyCounselor Online and we'll be happy to troubleshoot it with you.
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