A damaged man is incapable of love because he does not believe love will be freely given, only earned through works. He seeks false intimacy in lust and mistakes sex for acceptance. These insecure men seek insecure women who believe themselves unlovable and who use sex to earn approval. It’s an ugly circle. And everyone loses.
Male insecurity leads to a quest for validation. The easiest validation is sex with a woman. But healthy women don't throw sex around in order to earn male approval, so insecure men learn to go after insecure women. It creates a self-perpetuating cycle for both sexes.
And if these men get married, they see their wife's sex drive as a direct indicator of their worth as a man. But they never learn to create emotional intimacy, so a loving wife may have a difficult time with arousal and/or orgasm. That leads these men down a spiral of self-doubt and resentment toward their wife. They dive into porn, affairs, or prostitution to get more validation and relieve their secret desires. These behaviors make them even more insecure. The marriage falls apart. And their wife never understands why.
This video is part of an ongoing series about attachment.
Insecurity leaves some men seeking constant approval from women. The easiest way to feel approved of is to get a woman, any woman, to have sex with you. This is vaginal approval, and it makes insecure men feel validated for a moment. But as soon as that moment is gone, they have to chase the next high. They join PUA circles and hardcore redpill groups who reassure them attachment issues are normal. "Women are the problem! It's not you, it's them. So learn to exploit them." Meanwhile, only women with broken attachment will allow these men to use them like this. So these insecure men cycle back and forth between damaged women and come to believe such behavior is normal. And all the while, they're insecurity grows worse.
There is hope. Attachment is the answer. Heal yourself and learn who you really are. Find the love you don’t believe you deserve. By fixing your attachment, you can learn to stop repelling healthy women and build a loving relationship that can last a lifetime. If you're stuck in redpill groups with angry men and wonder if there's better, watch this video and learn how healthy attachment can change the way you see relationships, sex, and love.
#Attachment #AttachmentSpecialist #AttachmentTheory #AdamLaneSmith
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