Have you ever felt like you're constantly the one giving too much in relationships, friendships, or in your professional life? I've been there, believing I was a perpetual giver in a world full of takers. Here's how I stopped.

Words:

Your problem isn’t that you give too much.

Your problem isn’t that you love more.

Your problem isn’t that people walk all over you.

Your problem is that you believe you're a perpetual giver in a world of takers.

For the longest time, that was my narrative. I saw myself as the one who always gave, whether in love, friendship, my work.

Even with my art, it took my over a decade to become brave enough to consistently put out my own work. I’d say things like “I’ll have time maybe later, after I finish my client work.”

I thought this was noble, selfless, respectable. But I've come to realize, it was none of those things.

It was a choice.

And more often than not, when we put others first, we are putting ourselves last, and then complain that the world was out to take what we have to offer.

But here's the truth: no one was stealing from me and no one is stealing from you.

We sometimes choose to be the martyr in our own story, thinking it makes us the hero. We love the idea of being the one who is self sacrificing.

When we say things like we’re the ones who do more, love more, give more,

What we’re really saying is “I believe in you more than I believe in myself.”What we’re really saying is “I think you deserve this love, but not me.”What we’re really saying is “Here, have this piece of me, because I don’t value it enough to hold onto it.”
Because we're not just generous — sometimes, we're hiding. Our willingness to give can be a mask for our expectations, our insecurities, our fears. And true generosity comes from a place of fullness, not from an empty well.

And so I hope you know, that you can be as generous with yourself, as much as you are with others. You are deserving of the same kindness, understanding and love you so freely offer other people.
It might feel uncomfortable.
It might go against your old beliefs.

At the end of the day there is no such thing as too much love or too much giving, but there is such a thing as doing them for the wrong reasons.

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