Why don’t we see the red flags, why do we ignore them, why when something inside tells us to go, do we stay?

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Red flags are warning signs, which are amazing when we have the knowledge to understand what they are warning us about or that we need to proceed with caution. However, the aim of a manipulator is to deceive so they can exploit to get their needs met. Narcissists often enter our lives full of white flags, as they love-bomb, which is often mistaken as the excitement or honeymoon period of a new relationship. Many who don't understand red flags mistake the narcissists love bombing as the excitement of the beginning of a new relationship, the honeymoon period, as the narcissist mirrors us to sell us an illusion of who we would like them to be, they’ll pity play, they’ll exaggerate achievements, they’ll future fake to influence us into believing we have a future with them. When that future doesn't work out the way we hoped, they blame us, as we believe they want the same things as us, we work harder to please them, not seeing they are destroying us.
Just like hindsight, it becomes easier to understand the situation after we've lived it, easier to recognise red flags once we know what they are and have the knowledge to be able to recognise them, unfortunately often it's not until a narcissist has sold us their admiration seeking face, so we see the good in them, that they reveal their envious face, which they blame us for, and by the time they show us their envious face, they've taken our independence and turned it into codependence, they've taken our security and made us feel insecure, they've taken our family and friends and isolated us from support, taken our trust and made it, so we no longer know how to trust. At the same time, they’ve played the victim, and blamed everything on us. It's not ignoring the red flags that costs you. It's not seeing the good in them that cost you. It's not having the knowledge that people like this exist as our family, our friends, our neighbours, and in our workplace. It's not having the understanding of their manipulation tactics that cost us. When we do have the knowledge and understanding, when we see a red flag, we recognise the danger behind their behaviour and choose to walk away and no longer play.

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