They're Completely Unpredictable: Jaded Lt. Siegel (Glenn Ford) with swabbie yeoman Garrett (Earl Holliman) stuck with showing goofball congressmen (Jansen and Smithfield, Jack Albertson and Charles Watts) around their rear-sector Pacific island base, meets (23 year-old Sicilian-Irish) Gia Scala as native schoolteacher Melora (Alba), Chuck Walters directing for MGM, in Don’t Go Near The Water, 1957, from the novel by Life magazine editor William Brinkley.

Don't Go Near the Water is a 1957 comedy film about a U.S. Navy public relations unit stationed on an island in the Pacific Ocean during World War II. Glenn Ford stars and it further solidified his reputation as an adept comedic actor.

Glenn Ford as Lieutenant (j.g.) Max Siegel
Gia Scala as Melora Alba
Earl Holliman as Adam Garrett
Anne Francis as Lieutenant (j.g.) Alice Tomlen
Keenan Wynn as Gordon Ripwell
Fred Clark as Lieutenant Commander Clinton T. Nash
Eva Gabor as Deborah Aldrich
Russ Tamblyn as Ensign Tyson
Jeff Richards as Lieutenant Ross Pendleton
Mickey Shaughnessy as Farragut Jones
Howard Smith as Admiral Junius Boatwright
Romney Brent as Mr. Alba, Melora's father
Mary Wickes as Janie, a nurse
Jack Straw as Lieutenant Commander Gladstone
Robert Nichols as Lieutenant Commander Hereford
John Alderson as Lieutenant Commander Diplock
Jack Albertson as Rep. George Jansen
Charles Watts as Rep. Arthur Smithfield

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