Grief is an energy, and it has a watery-ness to it. It’s not just because it’s connected to tears, but because it flows.
We know the feeling of overwhelming grief; it can feel like being flooded, we get more than we can handle, we drown in it. There’s a way that grief kind of re-circulates, where we’re crying and crying, or grieving and grieving, and we’re not moving anywhere. It’s like being stuck in an eddy on a river.
Grief is designed to cleanse us, to move through us, and help us move out the pain from the loss so we can get clear and clean again. It’s designed to heal our broken hearts. In order to do this, though, grief needs to move, not to be stuck, and not be too much, not be flooding us.
Rituals can help us contain our grief. That’s not containing like putting it in a little box, and keeping it locked up. It’s containing like giving the river banks. So that it can flow. If grief is contained, it’s not flooding, it’s not stuck, it’s moving at a pace we can navigate.
Rituals, and the people who help us in those rituals, create a structure to allow the grief to flow at a pace that we can handle. They give the river banks. It’s part of skillful grieving, to find tools to allow our grief to move, without overwhelming us.
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