November 2 2013 [ Full daily blog: [ Ссылка ] ] | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 11 Daily Meditation Alcoholics Anonymous Today's Daily Reflections 2012: "until we have the life experience, spiritual and emotional experiences are simply things we think about as a theory, rather than a reality..." Today's AA daily reflection is about keeping optimism afloat. Optimism is an outlook, it is also an ism. Pessimism is an outlook and it also is an ism. If I look for the good in new life experiences, I'm likely to keep on learning, and be optimistic about coping with reality. If I am looking for the worst case scenario and believe it is the most likely outcome, I might be setting myself up for something which will not happen. Optimistic or pessimistic, what the lies behind these outlooks is our emotional and spiritual condition...
How am I feeling this morning? Emotionally uncertain about whether I might be optimistic or pessimistic? Not really, I feel somewhat numb awaiting news about my mother's operation and cancer treatment. I wish I could tell you if I was fearful, or full of courage and the answer is I don't know the answer, because the feelings just are not there right now. I wish I could tell you it was denial, but it's not because I don't know what the situation is, there could be a good outcome or bad outcome. Modern science is wonderful, I'm alive day by day because of modern science, alcoholism isn't my only chronic condition. And for my mother who is eighty, there are risks and the best possible specialists doing the best they can right now. I can wait without fear and without denial for now...
After my dad died back in 1991, I can remember him being very angry about the situation when he found he only had a few weeks to live. And at the same time the girl of my dreams had left me. A double heartbreak, one dying, one leaving and a whole bunch of emotions I could not cope with and so drank copious amounts of alcohol. In the end, the feelings did catch up with me, overwhelmed me, loss of loved ones was heartbreak. There has hardly been a day when I have not talked to my mother about life in general, and all the usual day-to-day from those heart-breaking times. From my side, nothing has been left unsaid and the same for my mum. She is not done with life, and I hope this is so. Mum has courage and faith, and so do I. One day at a time...
Prayer, meditation and a sober way of life. Before I became a recovering alcoholic, I carried the burden of every expectation open to mankind, and a mind full of resentments. So these days, prayer and meditation offers me something which I never have before, emotional and spiritual serenity, which is to accept the outcomes we all face living longer and the experiences we are going to have. I cannot predict my emotional state one way or another. Dealing with the good, the bad and the ugly of life experiences is best done in the moment, neither expecting nor anticipating how I might feel, and not judging how I should feel ahead of events yet to unfold...
I don't know if other people feel the way I do when the prospect of waking up can be a bit haphazard day-to-day. Back in the day, at my wits end, my preference was to take a last drink, and never wake up. Today, I do take solace in waking up each morning, because when some days have been difficult with other ailments, and living on my own, I was never sure whether I was going to wake up or not. One of the phrases bandied about in recovery, "another day above ground," can be said in so many different ways, optimistically, or pessimistically or in my case, thankfully... I don't fear death, I like to keep trudging the road of destiny, even in the darkest hours these days...
DonInLondon [ Full daily blog: [ Ссылка ] ]
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections [ Ссылка ]
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve [ Ссылка ]
November 2012 | Step Eleven Reading Video Link: [ Ссылка ]
November 2012 | Video Reading How It Works: [ Ссылка ]
November 2012 | Video Reading Into Action : [ Ссылка ]
November 2012 | Playlist About Step Eleven : [ Ссылка ]
Email | don@doninlondon.com
Music | "music for airports" By Brian Eno | [ Ссылка ] |
