Michael and Lauren discuss whether ethical non-monogamy can fracture relationships or if pre-existing issues are the root cause. Lauren shares real-life examples, including couples whose marriages ended after opening up, but also highlights how non-monogamy often gets blamed unfairly.
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Ethical Non-Monogamy: "It's Not Just About Sex" w/ Lauren Hayes (#72)
Living inside as many different cities and cultures as I have, I think I've seen every relationship permutation there is. And what I've learned is that there is no right or wrong when it comes to love. There's only what's right and wrong for each couple, and usually even that changes over time. Confusing? You bet!
So I've decided to speak to someone who lives outside of society's black and white monogamy culture and found a lifestyle that works best for her and her husband.
Lauren Hayes is relationship coach specializing in supporting ethically non-monogamous (ENM) couples, including swingers and the ENM-curious.
She is trained in both life and relationship coaching, she helps couples navigate and engage the swinging and non-monogamous community in the healthiest of ways.
Lauren believes that non-monogamous relationships share the same foundations of any healthy relationship, however, they need to operate at a higher level of health to accommodate the additional complexities. Her approach aims to help couples build their ideal relationship, regardless of how many others it includes. She also brings personal experience to her coaching having been married for 19+ years and ENM (swingers) for the last 5+ years.
Lauren offers coaching and practical advice grounded in her own life as well as professional training - she goes by Swinging Lifestyle Coach and her website is SwingingLifestyleCoach.com.
Takeaways
Non-monogamous relationships require a higher level of communication.
Self-awareness is essential for navigating non-monogamy.
Ethical non-monogamy is not better or worse than monogamy; it's an option.
Many misconceptions exist about non-monogamous relationships.
Commitment should be to the relationship, not just the person.
Emotional sovereignty is crucial for healthy relationships.
Couples can benefit from regular check-ins about their relationship satisfaction.
Exploring non-monogamy can enhance intimacy and connection.
Accountability in relationships can lead to personal growth.
Creating your own life is key to happiness.
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