Lydia wanted to compose a Tchaikovsky inspired composition. In this process, she found light in his Nocturne from his opus 19. She also wanted to do things that Tchaikovsky was good at, such as composing things that suits a particular instrument in such a way that it would not sound as good on any other instrument, and also his ability to use scales in his compositions in a way that no one would realise that it’s there without thinking about it. She also wanted to achieve a sense of emotion as complex and as painful as Tchaikovsky’s. In thinking about setting in a scale that doesn’t sound like a scale, she wrote the first five notes, beginning on the fifth degree of the scale, augmenting the fourth to give it a more uncomfortable feel. Quavers in the 8-bar phrase were implemented to give a sense of struggle. The following 8-bar phrase starts an octave higher than the first, the tension of the cello strings in the high positions also giving way to intense emotions. The middle section begins, with quavers delivering the same sense of movement and emotional struggle, and the passage hits the top notes with accents. Lydia intends for these high notes to “just scream suicide and depression”. After all the drama, the music seems to calm down to minims and a molto ritardando as the “crying” dies off. A fermata on the double bar line allows the cellist to bask in an eerie silence before returning to the original theme and tempo. However, not being “done” with the emotions just yet, she ends the first phrase with the leading tone of the scale, followed by the last phrase marked with a “morendo”, which means “to die”. Unlike the first section, she did not write this section an octave higher to better facilitate the “dying off” of the composition. And as if the piece could not die off any more, she adds a molto ritardando at the pickup of the last two bars followed by a fermata on the last semibreve because it “really has to die off”. Instrumentation for this piece was chosen purposefully. No instrument in Lydia’s books looks as lonely as a solo cellist on stage, and no instrument would be able to perform this piece as tragically.

Gevorg Sargsyan - Cello

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