I heard this amazing talk from a woman who speaks about post betrayal syndrome and healing trauma.

What she says is that the denial that we face when suddenly confronted with what's happened is totally understandable right. It's so overwhelming for our brains that we can't possibly comprehend all of the stuff so we just say no it can't possibly be.

There's like 5 stages of recovery from trauma or from betrayal it's denial, anger, bargaining, it's like no it didn't happen then it's bargaining. Then it's like Yeah yeah it happened but okay I can see and these are the stages of recovery from. Then there's anger It's like it's not fair It's kind of not being able to contain or even you know.

For me what I would do is I've never really been angry at other people All of the anger I've experienced in my life is predominantly Fueled inwards. Certainly as a as an anorexic you know it's one of the things I've done It's like you know you can be perfectly present to a prep you can be perfectly presented in any situation. Then if anything comes up you just channel everything in it destroys you inside but it's our way of coping in the world.

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