My brother's 25th wedding anniversary is in 2 months. My SIL sent out an invitation last week to a party in November that reprises the wedding requesting that all wedding party members dress in the wedding party outfits. Since the wedding, I have moved states several times for school and work and currently live on the opposite coast. I was 16 when the wedding occurred and was 1 of 4 bridesmaids. I told her that I was excited to come but no longer had the bridesmaid dress. I offered to find a lavender dress reminiscent of the original dress.She became very angry, telling me that I was the only bridesmaid that could come and that it completely ruins the party idea that I no longer have the dress. She was incredibly hurt that I would discard "such an important memory". My brother then disinvited me entirely saying that I had no right to get rid of the dress because my mom bought it so "it wasn't really yours" and that they (my brother and SIL) should have been notified and given first dibs when I decided to donate it years ago because it was such an important part of their memory of that day. Of note, my mom died 18 years ago. This was after I donated it to goodwill but, TBH, I didn't discuss the donation with her.It never occurred to me that they would be so offended by something like this. AITA for not letting them know that I was getting rid of the dress? Should I have offered it to them when I culled my wardrobe? I'm just weirded out by this entire situation.
