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Reasons Why People Breakup | They Said "I Need To Find Myself"
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A young lady had reached out to Coach Adrian, telling him that her ex boyfriend broke up with her because he needed to find himself. Quite often, people reach out to Coach Adrian because their exes needs to find themselves, and it’s a topic that is very common and applies to a lot of you all over the world. It's one of the reasons why people breakup and we’re here to give you guidance if you hear those words, “I need to find myself,” “It’s not you it’s me,” “Give me some time.”

One of the most popular reasons why people breakup is they said "I need to find myself." It happens mostly to women, or to people who are dating men who are not fulfilled professionally, and it can also happen to men and women in a time of midlife crisis, or when in an “empty nest.” A lot of times, this need to reinvent oneself, based on the fact that someone is not happy with where they are at this stage of their life, to where they think they would be. Many women have reached out to Coach Adrian over the years because of partners who, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, start to blame the relationship for pain, struggles, or because they are not happy with their life, or specifically, with their professional life.

And you should not take this personally. It’s not your fault. A lot of times when someone tells you they need to find themselves, believe them because it’s true. People are unhappy, and they are not unhappy because of you, or because of the relationship. They are unhappy because of where they are. So give them time and space. Let them realize that they are going to be less happy without you, than they were with the safety net of the relationship.

The mistake that most people make is that they cling on. They cling on because they are afraid to lose their partner, they are afraid that finding themselves will happen with another man or another woman. And because you stand to suck in, or take in that insecurity that your partner has carried with them for quite a while, you latch on, you beg, you plead, you start to devalue your worth, you lower your standards, you try to match your partner’s self worth just out of fear of losing them. That is a recipe for disaster. That is not the way that you want to approach this.

Bet on yourself. Focus on making yourself happy. Choose to take on that challenge of being single as well. And sooner or later, they will realize that they have made a big mistake. That they still have to deal with those same insecurities, and that you’re not there to bail them out, you’re not there to support them, to validate them.

Sometimes it takes a little bit of time. If you’re patient, strong, supportive, in letting them figure themselves out, they will come running back. They WILL come running back. You don’t have to cut off all contact, but you can’t be needy, you can’t chase. You can’t chase someone who tells you that they need to find themselves. You need to give them that space. That is the best breakup advice that we can give you.

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Our Mission is to help people find happiness in love, and to provide individuals and couples with the communication tools and relevant techniques to be together in healthy sustainable relationships.

Over the years we have helped people in all types of breakups, separation and divorces successfully get back together, and I highly encourage you to look into out how we’ve been so successful.

We offer one on one Private Coaching Sessions for individuals who are interested in speeding up the process of breakup recovery and get back together with the person they love quickly by letting our experts guide you personally:

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It would truly be our pleasure to help you be and with the one you love, as always keep fighting the good fight and I wish you all the very best.

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