(1982) Grease 2

Written by Dennis Linde, "Reproduction", from the 1982 musical Grease 2, is set in the classroom. The biology class, obviously, and is just as obviously loaded with double entendre.

The song is sung principally by the male biology teacher backed up by a chorus of sex obsessed American teenagers.

"Reproduction"
Written by Dennis Linde
Sung by Tab Hunter & The Cast
4:07

The two new teacher characters were both played by 1950s & 1960s movie idols Tab Hunter (Mr. Stuart) and Connie Stevens (Miss Mason).





Mr.Stuart:
The parts of a flower
are so constructed
that very, very often,
the wind will cause pollination.
If not, then a bee or any other
nectar-gathering creature
Can create.. the same situa-tion!
Yes, anything that gets.. the pollen
to the pistil's right on the list.
I'll try to make it crystal clear.
A flower's insatiable passion
turns its life into a circus of debauchery!

Now you see just how the stamen
gets its lusty dust on to the stigma.
And why this frenzied chlorophyllous orgy starts each spring
is no enig-ma!

(Spoken) We call this quest for satisfaction a what, class?

Stacie & Gracie & Lucy:
A photoperiodic reaction!

Mr. Stuart (Spoken):
Oh, that's good! Oh, that's very good!

Bernie Dillard: Hey, I’m lost! Where are we?!

Lucy: Chapter two.

Willie Willard: Page five.


Reproduction
Reproduction!

Francine: Put your pollen tube to work!

Reproduction
Reproduction!

Vicki Hunt: Make my stamen go berserk!


Reproduction..

Donna Singer: I don't think they even know what a pistil is!

Artie: I got your pistil right here!

Donna Singer: (Dialogue) Artie!

Where does the pollen go?

Mr. Stuart (Spoken):
Next chapter. How in an abstract way,
the same thing applies to the reproductive organs
of the more complex life-forms.
But we are now dealing with sexual response.
Are there any questions before we begin reading?

Aurelio:
Is it possible the female member
of some sex on a couch
Could, like, get this guy all hot
and she never even knew it?

Mr. Stuart (Spoken):
Negative!

Chuck McGovern:
When a warm-blooded mammal
in a tight little sweater
Starts pulling that stuff,
she's saying that she wants to do IT?

[Dennis]]:
Can't prove it by me!
'Cause they change their tune
when you got 'em in the back seat!

Roy: With his heart beatin' fast!

Stacie & Gracie:
They make it sound like a track meet!
Gross!

T-Birds:
Yeah... Then all they can do is say,
(Falsetto) "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

Reproduction
Reproduction!

Girls (Basso):
Baby, give it to me now!

Reproduction
Reproduction!

Guys (Falsetto):
Is that all you think about?!

Reproduction!

Girls:
Come on, baby, show me that you really love me so!

Willie Willard (Crying):
OH, I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UUUUP!

Where does the pollen go?

Mr. Stuart (spoken):
The human is the only being capable
of consciously controlling
its number of offspring!
Are there any comments on that?

(Dialogue) Johnny: I was wondering if you could tell me where she lives?

Goose: Yeah, what is this?

Paulette Rebchuck:
Mr. Stuart...Is it true that guys like you,
you know, mature and all,
carry some protection with them...
FOR SEXUAL OCCASIONS???

Mr. Stuart (Spoken):
Oh, God!

Johnny Nogerelli:
What's the big deal??
Can't a girl just do that thing in a book,
where she adds up the days of her, uh,
whaddaya call it...
mentalstra-tion?

Girl:
Oh, that's really neat!
Yeah, and what'll the guy do if the numbers don't add up right, huh?

Girls:
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Reproduction
Reproduction!

Trixie Andrews:
Hope he's proud of what he's done!

Reproduction
Reproduction!

R.G. He was only pokin' fun!

Reproduction...

Louis DiMucci (Holding up rabbit):
See what happens when a boy and girl
don't know how to play it safe?!

Reproduction
Reproduction.
Reproduction
Reproduction.
Reproduction
Reproduction.
Re-pro-duc-tioooooooooooooooooon!

Goose McKenzie:
Where does the pollen go?

Boing!*

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