The narcissist complains about everything. Nothing is their fault, and everything is your fault. The narcissist is never happy. They must always protect against narcissistic injury and rage and one way they do this is by making everything your fault. Narcissistic abuse happens because the narcissist must always protect their fragile sense of self. They try to appear superior and grandiose, but they actually have low self-esteem and must always protect against shame. The narcissists act like things are good, but narcissists are miserable. Why are narcissists miserable? The narcissists live in a world where they must always be on the defensive. They can never relax. They deal with everyone as if they are out to get them and they trust no one. Nothing I do is good enough for the narcissist, however. It would seem they would try to find positives in things as a way to find happiness but this is not how narcissists think. For the narcissist, everyone is someone they must think is out to get them. Can a narcissist be happy or can a narcissist be happy for you? No and no. Again, the narcissist must protect against the possibility of shame and this keeps people at a distance at all times. The narcissist will keep the upper hand through gaslighting and other manipulation techniques. Do narcissists know the are manipulating? The person with narcissism doesn’t know they are manipulating because that is just how they relate to life. It comes without awareness in their world and this is why they don’t know what they are doing. Why is the narcissist never happy? They can’t be happy because that would require them to let their guard down. Will narcissists change who they are and how they interact with others? Likely not. This is a personality style they have and they would have to change a lot of themselves and that is hard work, but also requires insight – which is something the narcissist doesn’t have.

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