One time when I was picking up a new child from a school, I showed up, they looked at me, and ran the other direction. I had a baby in my arms and really didn't know what to do. I've also worked with many families who have had situations where the child screams "you aren't my mom" and situations can escalate very quickly.
It's important to remember that even though you know you are a safe and caring adult, the kids do not know this. And perhaps in the past, someone introduced themselves as a safe person, and that person ended up letting them down. There are so many things happening that make this moment complex.
Here are a few things to try:
- Plan ahead by foreshadowing with the child, and have an activity or something to look forward to to help with the transition.
- Get the school staff involved. Sometimes when you scoop up a child and walk out with them before they are ready, this can really trigger (perhaps even how their removal from their parents went!). The staff has been with them all day, they know their mood and what's going on. They may be able to help assist out to the car.
- I've worked with some providers that appreciate a heads up when you arrive so they can help prepare the child for the transition.
- Consider making things fun and engaging at pickup. Show up with a wagon or car to push them in, have toys ready in the car, or plan to go somewhere fun after you pick them up. And you know I love a fun transition (like walking to the car as a robot!).
- Some kids need more time to transition from one place to another. If allowed, join them in the activity to help transition them away from it.
- Validate their fears, worries, concerns, and wishes.
- Offer choices whenever possible to help give the child as much control as you can.
⬇️As always, feel free to add to this discussion in the comments below. What do you do to support a child in this moment? Have you experienced this yourself? ⬇️
(Small but important note, when editing I noticed my shirt. Please do NOT wear a foster care type shirt to a school. I filmed several things today and missed this nuance)
Looking for more? I offer 1:1 DM support (plus checklists and templates) on Patreon for as little as $1. [ Ссылка ]
Find Me on Social Media:
Instagram: [ Ссылка ]
Tiktok: [ Ссылка ]
Facebook: [ Ссылка ]
Ещё видео!