Another day, another break, and after a very brief promo for Heartbeat, the first ad is for Windows XP, promoting it as the ultimate operating system, which I guess it was at the time, given it was present on just about every early 2000s computer I laid eyes on as a child. (And is it just me, or did no one ever seem to change that default desktop background?)

Santa then goes Christmas shopping at Asda – maybe he owns the company – where you can buy big bags of crisps, big bags of Christmas cards, and even a big pogo stick! Alright, so maybe the pogo stick wouldn’t be of much use to me, but I’d still buy it at those crazy prices, just so long as I don’t have to watch Santa slapping his buttocks at the end again. Anyway, next comes a promo for the ITV News, featuring something or other about George W. Bush – you can tell this is 2001 – and then we’re back into the final part of that ITV drama.

After the drama’s over, I guess it’s time for real-life drama with the news, but first a little plug for the Anthony Nolan Bone Marrow Trust in one of those “contact this number if you’ve been affected by this show” things. Then there’s a promo for Des O’Connor on Des O’Connor, which sounds like a very, um, meta thing to do, I guess. Either that or some kind of insidious cloning drama involving old ITV hosts.

If you’re suffering from trapped wind – I haven’t heard anyone say that in years, you know – maybe consider picking up some meds from Rennie. Or maybe go shopping at Boots instead, where you can buy make-up, cosmetics, and a frog… thing for just a third of the price. Then we take a trip to a small little village that’s just about to set up its very own cheese website, only for it to be suddenly hacked by a group of people who clearly have nothing better to do. Or maybe back then that was one of only five sites on the internet that you could actually hack. Whatever the case, get in touch with IBM’s online security division – they’ll only cheat you, not hack you.

Next, a story about pure heart from Bitesize Shredded Wheat, then an ad for Disneyland, in which the creepy mascot characters roam the theme park at night putting up explosive-filled Christmas decorations. Or at least that’s how it looks to me. (I think it’s the fact the eyes don’t blink – it just seems sinister, somehow.)

After a speedy little ad for Fairy, time for some cheese and crackers with Jacob’s. (Who is Jacob? No idea.) Finally, more cosmetics in the form of Dove cleansing wipes, followed by a free repeat for Freeserve, and then a promo for a showing of the movie Twister, which I always felt was a very poor adaptation of the board game, honestly. And then the ITV News is on.

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