Daddy issues is not a diagnosable mental illness, it’s not even a term that was ever used in any of my psychology classes, or continuing education courses. The reason for this is because any “issues” we may have with our caregivers (like our mother or father or even aunt or grandparent) is boiled down to attachment. So instead of calling these struggles “daddy issues” we should really call them attachment issues, because that’s what they are. Unfortunately when it comes to attachment and parental research, it tends to focus on our mothers and their role in our development, but fathers play an important role as well. When we are children they teach us about boundaries, by being more of the risk takers or rougher when it comes to play, they show us what we can and cannot do or what we are okay and not okay with. They help us understand risk, fear, and hopefully be reminded that they are there to catch us, or pick us up if we fall down. Fathers also represent the role of a male adult member of the family. This can affect us no matter what gender we are. If we identify as male, our father can show us how male’s act in certain situations. We can mimic their behavior and find ourselves acting just like they did. Our relationship with our father’s also plays a huge role in our self esteem and confidence. Because mothers tend to be (but not always) the more nurturing, consistent, and home sustaining caregiver, we can take them for granted. They are around more, give more support and positive reinforcement. Whereas fathers tend to be away from home more often. Anyways, because fathers are away from home more, when they are around, we can seek out their approval most. Many children can grow up believing that if they please their father then he will stay around more often, or that his approval just means more.

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