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This video was made for our TBI Voices project. We interviewed thirty real life survivors of brain injury. In these interviews we talked to the survivors about how they became brain injured and who they were before their brain injury. We also talk about their recovery and what deficits they have encountered .
TBI Attorney Gordon Johnson conducts interview of brain injury survivor.

One of the problems - especially early in rehab, and especially with spouses - the caregiver role becomes the role of the coach, the parent, the evil therapist role. What that means is that the traditional role of wife, lover (or parent) is dramatically shifted, which can cause a disturbing disruption in the joy which formerly bound the relationship. I discussed with Jeremiah how to tell a survivor (especially one may still be close to his or her injury) to be nicer to their caregivers. How do you tell the survivor not to lose their cool when they feel like they're being treated like a child? What do you say to that? How do you help that?

You have to try your best to keep it inside of you. And I know that if I'm talking to whoever it is that I'm talking to, it's going to be difficult as heck to, to keep all of these things inside of you, because you have so, so much frustrations from so, so many things that is happening to you. But you have to, have to do your very best to keep it within yourself, not to deflect the person who's there to help you away from you. And, and it will be difficult for them, so very much too.

So this is what you (the survivor) have to realize as well - how difficult it's going to be for the person who is actually helping you. Their whole life is going to be changed in a dramatic negative way. But they'll also get some very positive things to build your lives together, because you will see, and hopefully you will succeed in, in your tasks of caregiver and receiver. You will see a building of a foundation that overwhelms such difficulties as the worst things possible ever imaginable.

And this is what I believe that we have done (looking at his wife). It's not at all without difficulties and arguments and such, but it is so with any spouse relationship. But you always must keep in your mind what the caregiver has for feelings for you.
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