Some legends start small.

It was an ordinary day of gambling in TF2. Doug “Douglas” DougDoug, aka Doug, was streaming to his Twitch audience, wasting hundreds of dollars on hats. It was a sad sight to see, and thankfully his Twitch chat convinced him to switch to Skyrim viewer requests. Truly, they are the main character.

Doug relented, and suddenly realized he had not coded anything yet. While testing his code, he made the controversial decision to personally execute a user named Joey from the chat forever. His loss was lamented by all, I am not kidding they cried for like 10 minutes.

Doug ignored this. He thought he knew better than Joey. And he was WRONG. Chat never gave up on Joey; one viewer request forced Doug to consume toothpaste, cardboard, baby wipes, and worst of all olive oil. And yet Doug still defiantly held his head high and ignored the desires of his peers.

“I am the best Twitch streamer of all time!” he cried out into the pulsating void of anger, “It’s not them, it’s ME! ME ME ME!”

Viewers began making requests outside of the game entirely. Pleas were made for Doug to post an official eulogy on the DougDoug Clips community tab, home to 50,000 stadiums worth of people. After a heartfelt tribute was finally posted, Joey rose from the ashes, the second coming had arrived.

Joey was angry. He psychologically tormented Doug with threats of a 100% speedrun of Skyrim. Doug was shocked, tears began forming in his eyes.

“Please, please Joey, I realized the error of my ways. I have seen darkness and your presence has brought me into the light!” He begged.

Joey did not care. He was angry.

Twitch chat realized they had resurrected a false prophet, a Judas in disguise. This was actually the first coming of an Anti-Joey. Chaos ensued. Hours of panic, nobody truly knew what to do.

Eventually DougDoug made an offering to sacrifice Matt LeBlanc to the elder gods in order to appease Anti-Joey. It just barely worked, under the condition that Doug had to spend the rest of his years in the Joey Hole.

Nobody was ever seen again from that stream.

“In Skyrim's embrace, a viewer erased,
Joey's lament, a sorrowful waste.
Doug, filled with pride, a terrible guide,
Ignored every wish, with nowhere to hide.

A eulogy's plea, brought Joey back free,
No friend this would be, just pure misery.
Anti-Joey's wrath, a chaotic path,
Matt LeBlanc the offering, sealing Doug's wrath.

The Joey Hole yawns, a fate he now owns,
The stream disappears, forever unknown.”

I’m not discussing the drama.

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