CW: Racist slang [More info under the video description]
What if all of those old-school video game endings... had lyrics?
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And special thanks to ScrewAttack user T-C-C who made the 8-bit Brentalfloss sprite I used on the cartridge.
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LYRICS:
You beat the game, you're feelin' pretty cool, you stayed up all night and missed a day of school, you played like a champ, so what do you "git"?
37 pounds of Jack shit.
Look at you kid, your thumbs are big and red, you smell like a taint,
your goldfish is dead, so here's your reward:
Excessive amounts of names you can't even pronounce!
We're talkin'...
TAKU HIKICHI & KEIICHI HARA
And MORIKAZU MARU MARU
PENPEN, BAN BAN, BUNBUN, TOM PON, AND FAW
ROAD ZAPPER AND NAKAZOO (O, hai!)
And after the creds, which took a fuckin' while, a crappy cartoon all pixelated style, no trophies today, achievements no way! It's all for naught!
For diddly-biddly squat, aaand
That's how it goes with classic games, cutscenes that blow and rice-mobile names, your hopes were so high, so much was in store, it's the end, but wait there's more, another screen, another door, hey
"Thank you for playing", well ain't that sweet, clearly our lives are now complete, despite how it ends, you'll play it again, but for now my friend this is the end!
I love ya baby,
Try it on hard mode, this is the fuckin' end...
...Conglaturation!
I've never seen such finger speed, let's get a burger, it was a dream
We won't tell if Jason died so
Stare at your brother's head in the sky
This is the fuggin', the sweet mother-huggin end!
Woh-yeah!
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In the first draft of this song, I referred to all of the Japanese names as "foreign car names." You could argue that this wasn't a great way to refer to them in the first place, but then I stepped it up to "rice-mobile names," thinking that was an acceptable slang to use since so many of the names sounded to me like "Mitsubishi," "Toyota," etc... in retrospect, I wish I hadn't included either of those in the final lyric. I've learned a lot about racism in the time since writing this lyric, and I regret including that part of it. If you find this song nostalgic, that's fine, but please know that I don't stand by that part of the lyrics today.
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