“I have no qualms in setting boundaries and even cutting people off!”
After Samra Zafar escaped her abusive marriage, her journey has not been guided by learning new things but by unlearning all the things that she had grown up with. ‘It was about shedding things’, said Zafar as she talked at JLF Colorado 2021 on the theme ‘Becoming Ourselves - Journeys of Discovery’.
From cultural beliefs to religious dogma and even parenting, Zafar wanted to learn about her own autonomy and her right to set boundaries. Growing up in a family where she was conditioned to believe that elders could do no wrong, Zafar wanted to break ties with these ideas and begin trusting her own intuition and instinct.
Zafar believes that when one lives with abuse for so long, it breaks the connection that they have with themselves. ‘You start thinking there is something wrong with you’, claimed Zafar and further added that it was only when she began to reward herself with love and kindness that she realised she did not need it from others.
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