In this brief video, Dr. Ettensohn discusses the phenomenon of gaslighting as an unintentional byproduct of borderline personality organization. People with personality disorders often have difficulty understanding that others have emotional experiences different than their own. They also have deficits when it comes to accepting the reality of the consequences of their actions.
These deficits make it difficult for people with personality disorders to understand harm they have caused to others, or to respond adaptively to attempts to hold them accountable for their actions. They may incorrectly perceive the person they have wronged as attempting to dominate or humiliate them, or they may engage in splitting or denial and "erase" their memory of having done the harm in the first place. These deficits are due to developmental delay in the personality organization.
Essentially, people with personality disorders, including NPD, are utilizing less mature psychological defenses that result in the distortion of reality and the blurring of boundaries between self and other. These delays are often due to an early history of relational trauma.
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