John Ritter as Benjamin "Ben" Healy, Jr.
Michael Oliver as Junior Healy
Jack Warden as Benjamin "Big Ben" Healy, Sr., Ben's wealthy, mean, and selfish father who holds contempt for Ben's kindness and considerate personality.
Gilbert Gottfried as Igor Peabody, the adoption agent at the orphanage who is Junior's nemesis and wants him out of the orphanage and his life.
Amy Yasbeck as Florence "Flo" Healy, Ben's social-climbing wife who cares far more about the image of being a wife and mother rather than the actual responsibilities or morals.
Michael Richards as Martin Beck, a childish escaped convict who goes by the moniker "Bow Tie Killer".

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