While we're here there's something I want to say

So the end of the decade is approaching and I've been thinking back on everything that's happened since 2010. And a lot of the things I can remember are good things! I got into music and video editing, I took part in a bunch of different projects, I made lots of new friends, and I even got paid for my work a few times.

But...the truth is the last couple years have been tough for me. I feel like I've been growing more and more distant from my friends and family. I haven't been able to find the same drive to create things that I used to have. I've had many days where all I could do is lie there and think to myself, "maybe I'll never get to where I want to be in life. Maybe I'll never reach the same heights as all my talented friends. Maybe I'll never really be happy."

But when I post a new video, or a new song, or a new drawing, and I see someone, anyone, enjoying it, it gives me the feeling that...maybe I will. I've gotten so used to beating myself up that it's become easy to forget that I still have a chance. And that feeling I get when I see that other people want to give me that chance is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

What I'm trying to say with all this is, I'm very thankful for all of you. For all the kind and funny and talented friends I've made. For all the viewers who have shown their support either through donations or just taking time out of their day to watch my dumb videos. Maybe not the people who ask me why "bedpost" is censored. But to anyone who's stayed with me for any portion of these last ten years...thank you. I may not show it very often, but I can't overstate just how much you all mean to me. If it weren't for you, I might not be here today.

I don't know for sure what 2020 will bring. I'm still learning to open up to people and treat myself better. It's been frustrating, but I'm gonna keep giving it my all. Whatever happens, I hope that by 2029 I'll be a healthier, happier, and more productive person. And I hope you'll be there to see me.

Happy holidays.


















...and thanks for the memories.

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