I Said "No" When My Girlfriend Asked For An Open Relationship....- Best Reddit
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My Girlfriend Asked For An Open/Poly Relationship. I Said 'No,' And Now She's Acting Strange. What Should I Do?
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My relationship with my girlfriend of three years took an unexpected turn when she proposed the idea of transitioning to an open or polyamorous relationship. This wasn’t the first time she had broached this topic; she had mentioned it early in our relationship as well. I had made it clear back then that I was strictly monogamous and uninterested in such arrangements. However, she brought it up again recently, suggesting that adding other partners could invigorate our sex life.
Despite my clear refusal, she pressed on, which led to significant tension between us. In the weeks following our conversation, her demeanor changed markedly. She became distant and started sleeping in our guest room, rarely engaging in conversation and brushing off attempts to discuss our issues. Her strange behavior and our dwindling intimacy led some friends to suggest that she might already be cheating or considering it seriously.
Driven by a mix of doubt and the need for clarity, I decided to confront the situation. I managed to sit her down for a discussion where I asked her to be transparent about her motivations for wanting an open relationship. She maintained that it was purely to "spice up" our relationship, but her arguments seemed to cater more to her desires than to our mutual benefit. The conversation circled back to my initial stance—if her intention was to be with someone else, our relationship would have to end.
To my shock, she reacted not with remorse but with anger, confessing that she had been having an affair with a male friend of ours and was pregnant with his child. This revelation was devastating. I found myself unable to stay in the same space as her, so I left for a friend’s house to process the betrayal.
In the following days, I sought closure by asking her critical questions about the affair. She admitted that it had started months ago and even took place in our shared home. Her confirmation that the affair was the reason behind her push for an open relationship felt like a final blow. Faced with such profound betrayal, I made the difficult decision to sever ties completely. I blocked her on all platforms and began the process of extricating myself from our shared lease.
As I navigated the aftermath, my ex tried to reach out, alternating between apologies and attempts to justify her actions. Her narrative took a darker turn when she accused me of being abusive—a baseless claim that she used to garner sympathy online. Fortunately, our mutual friends knew the truth and supported me through this time.
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